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I remember when I was a nipper, my old man used to roll me down a hill in a tyre, they were the Goodyear's.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

My Granddad gave me some sound advice on his death bed. He said get yourself a Bose speaker system it's the best on the market.

Reminds me of a Bernard Manning classic... Bloke goes to the dentist and asks how much for a full set of Implants. Dentist says well we...

An elderly woman, well into her eighties, slowly entered the front door of a 'Sex Shop'. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she...

My uncle's a lion tamer. When he went bankrupt, they took nearly everything, but at least he's still got his pride.

My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?" I said "Yes, I'm ready." He said "I'm sleeping with your wife."

Bumped into my old Italian mate Franco, he'd just got a new tattoo of Italy covered across his chest, I asked did it sting? He said not...

I've been caught out. I saw a woman the other day who had seen me when I did a spot at a hen night, bending a metal bar over my todger...

My friend said he failed his Aboriginal Music Exam, I said "did ya redo it?"

A Greek and an Englishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures. Over a double Latte, the Greek mentions...

Question: What do you know about Shetland Ponies ? Answer: Very Little

FOR SALE. Iconic Sooty and Sweep puppets. Any sensible offer accepted. I just want them off my hands.

I got through on Greatest hits radio on their mystery phone in competition. OK, you're our first caller going for our star prize, are...

Two eskimos set off on their boat on a cold winters night, numb with cold they decided to light a fire, to which the boat sinks and they...