😁Friday joke thread 😁

I went to a birthday party once and there were so few people there we had to play keep the parcel!!

I fell in love with a very clumsy cleaner.
She swept me off my feet!!
 
Bloke walks into a toyshop and asks for a Barbie Doll. Server says certainly sir which one wud you like, we have ballet Barbie, Astronaut Barbie, Waitress Barbie all at £9.99. Or we have this one, Divorced Barbie at £49.99. Bloke says that's expensive for that one. Server says it is sir but don't forget with that one you get the house, the car, the kids, the caravan
 
Three nuns are standing at the pearly gates waiting to get into heaven. St. Peter appears and says because you are nuns i must ask you a question before you can enter. He turns to the firs nun and asks "what was the name of the first man and woman?"Adam and Eve."She answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open, and the first nun enters.

"Where did Adam and Eve live" St. Peter asks the second nun. "The Garden of Eden" She answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open and the second nun enters. He turns to the third nun now as you are the mother superior your question will be more difficult. St Peter asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in the Garden?"

The mother superior thinks and thinks, but can't come up with an answer. "hmmm that's a hard one," she finally says. And the trumpets blow, the gates open, and the last nun enters heaven
 
A drunk goes into a whorehouse with only five quid to spend.

The madam says it's not enough for a
woman but she could let him have sex with a duck.

He's reluctant but desperate enough to say yes, so she sends him to room number 8 where he finds a beautiful mallard preening itself.

After an awkward start, he really gets into it and has such a good time that he returns the next day, slaps down another five quid and asks for the duck again.

The madam says the duck is unavailable but there's a special sex show happening in room number 9 that he can watch for his fiver.

So he goes to room number 9 and finds a dozen men in a darkened theatre watching a load of midgets having sex on the other side of a giant one-way mirror.

Fascinated, he slips into a seat and after a few minutes jabs the guy next to him and says "This is bloody amazing!"

The guy says "If you think this is good, you should have been here yesterday, there was a guy in there fuckin' a duck!!"

😱🦆
 
HappyasLarry said:
Three nuns are standing at the pearly gates waiting to get into heaven. St. Peter appears and says because you are nuns i must ask you a question before you can enter. He turns to the firs nun and asks "what was the name of the first man and woman?"Adam and Eve."She answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open, and the first nun enters.

"Where did Adam and Eve live" St. Peter asks the second nun. "The Garden of Eden" She answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open and the second nun enters. He turns to the third nun now as you are the mother superior your question will be more difficult. St Peter asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in the Garden?"

The mother superior thinks and thinks, but can't come up with an answer. "hmmm that's a hard one," she finally says. And the trumpets blow, the gates open, and the last nun enters heaven
Click to expand...
The Vicar of Dibley lives on 😂
 
So looking out my living room window last night and I saw a big crowd gathering around a lad who had come off his scooter. I went out side and pushed through the crowd shouting excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Then some one said Oh are you a doctor?
I said No that’s my pizza. ….😂😂😂
 
Irish man goes for a job on a building site,foreman ask what’s your name,Irish man says Patrick O'donoghue.
Foreman says spell it.Irish man says fck ya job.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top