26 long years RIP dad and UTMP

Lala

Lala

Well-known member
26 years ago tomorrow my dad, a massive pool fan took his own life.
I’d like to think if he were alive today he’d have embraced modern technology and been on avftt squabbling and bonding in equal measure with the rest of us on here ❤
I know he would have been amazed at the success we had in the Prem and more amazed at how we are developing as a club now. And yes he hated the Oystons, even back in the day.

Remember guys , depression can be a silent killer and always seek help if needed.
RIP lovely dad, I’m still always so proud of you and UTMP ! X
 
So sorry to hear that Lala. I'm sure he would be amazed and very pleased at the way his beloved Pool has progressed to where we are today even with the difficult time we had.
RIP fellow Seasider.
 
Tough to read, but psychological conditions can be very dangerous. Life can be very hard. Keep looking after yourself, inside and out. Get help whenever you think you might need it. 🤜
 
Sadly things have not improved. In the last days it was stated that in 2019 male sucides in England and Wales were the highest for 20 years, whilst female suicides were the highest since 2004. And that was before this utterly ridiculous year, which has caused a lot of mental strife.

Mental health is just as important as physical health. And as we seek help for physical ailments, so we should seek help for mental issues.

LaLa I am sure your dad would be just as proud of you too.
 
I didn’t mean to upset anyone or bring anyone down.
Just celebrating his life, and as a Seasider saying how proud he would be of ‘ all this ‘ and how proud and unashamed of him I am despite the stigma of mental health that still lingers even today.
I’ve dealt with it finally, but wouldn’t want anyone else to suffer.
So take care guys and bring on the Reds 🤗
 
Bispham_Seasider said:
Sadly things have not improved. In the last days it was stated that in 2019 male sucides in England and Wales were the highest for 20 years, whilst female suicides were the highest since 2004. And that was before this utterly ridiculous year, which has caused a lot of mental strife.

Mental health is just as important as physical health. And as we seek help for physical ailments, so we should seek help for mental issues.

LaLa I am sure your dad would be just as proud of you too.
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Thank you ❤️
 
Good to share and well done to you fella for highlighting something rarely talked about. Shame your dad missed the Prem.
 
Thanks for sharing that Lala. We carry our grief with us but sometimes good to share. You should expect a positive response from your fellow tangerines.
 
Yes depression is a silent threat as you can’t see it directly. Someone we know has a 16 year old who’s attempted suicide. You remember the good times & yes he would have been excited just like we are about the Mighty.
 
Lala said:
26 years ago tomorrow my dad, a massive pool fan took his own life.
I’d like to think if he were alive today he’d have embraced modern technology and been on avftt squabbling and bonding in equal measure with the rest of us on here ❤
I know he would have been amazed at the success we had in the Prem and more amazed at how we are developing as a club now. And yes he hated the Oystons, even back in the day.

Remember guys , depression can be a silent killer and always seek help if needed.
RIP lovely dad, I’m still always so proud of you and UTMP ! X
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It's 12 years ago since my own dad passed. He too had his own troubles with depression and that's the reason his life ended. I've had mine as well... but I'm better/ getting better every day. Family and people who know me think I'm the unchanging rock in their lives and I'm so proud of that... but a select few know I'm not THAT resilient. It's those select few who've listened to me, helped me... and got me through the darkest times. Find the people who want to listen and help... that's my advice. They can and will help.

Anyway, I digress. My dad is the reason I'm a Pool fan. Taking me in to the west stand at age 6 (1987 ish) (cos my mum wouldn't let him take me in to the more "active" stands!). He too would have been on here, he loved computers and was a computer programmer at GRE. He was an optimist in life but a pessimist when it came to BFC 😂 !! I was always the optimist when it came to BFC (convincing him to stay till the end even what we were 3-0 down away at Wigan and piss wet through with 2 minutes left on the clock!)

But, he'd have loved to have been there the day we beat Cardiff. He'd have loved it even more when the Oystons were finally rid from our beloved club. And, i'd have loved it even more than that if he were sat there beside me that day at Wembly.

If you have your troubles... share them with someone. Anyone. It may just be the answer to your problems and it may just get another enthusiastic young child to support BFC till the end of their days.
 
GTFsTwinBrother said:
It's 12 years ago since my own dad passed. He too had his own troubles with depression and that's the reason his life ended. I've had mine as well... but I'm better/ getting better every day. Family and people who know me think I'm the unchanging rock in their lives and I'm so proud of that... but a select few know I'm not THAT resilient. It's those select few who've listened to me, helped me... and got me through the darkest times. Find the people who want to listen and help... that's my advice. They can and will help.

Anyway, I digress. My dad is the reason I'm a Pool fan. Taking me in to the west stand at age 6 (1987 ish) (cos my mum wouldn't let him take me in to the more "active" stands!). He too would have been on here, he loved computers and was a computer programmer at GRE. He was an optimist in life but a pessimist when it came to BFC 😂 !! I was always the optimist when it came to BFC (convincing him to stay till the end even what we were 3-0 down away at Wigan and piss wet through with 2 minutes left on the clock!)

But, he'd have loved to have been there the day we beat Cardiff. He'd have loved it even more when the Oystons were finally rid from our beloved club. And, i'd have loved it even more than that if he were sat there beside me that day at Wembly.

If you have your troubles... share them with someone. Anyone. It may just be the answer to your problems and it may just get another enthusiastic young child to support BFC till the end of their days.
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RIP your dad too , and never be a martyr to pride yourself 👍
Hope you’re doing ok ❤️
 
Born tangerine said:
Besides your dad being proud of you I'm proud of you Lala for your heartfelt post my family have suffered like yours a very sad time but your post shows what a lovely person you've turned out to be.
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Sorry to hear that 🙁 never be ashamed of any stigma and always share if you too struggle ❤️
And thank you 🙏 x
 
My dad passed when i was quite young through a Brain Haemorrhage and whilst it devastated me what hurts the most is that my kids never knew him. He would of been the most amazing grandfather to them and ensured they would of grown up as seasiders like he did with me. Quite possibly his greatest achievement in life i would say!
 
Shootz said:
My dad passed when i was quite young through a Brain Haemorrhage and whilst it devastated me what hurts the most is that my kids never knew him. He would of been the most amazing grandfather to them and ensured they would of grown up as seasiders like he did with me. Quite possibly his greatest achievement in life i would say!
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Oh bless you and RIP your dad. Massive shame for your grandkids, he will be loving them unconditionally from somewhere ❤️
 
Lala the "boy done well" making you a tangerine titan, you could easily have slipped off to the dark side of plastic support.
He'd be proud.
 
Lala said:
26 years ago tomorrow my dad, a massive pool fan took his own life.
I’d like to think if he were alive today he’d have embraced modern technology and been on avftt squabbling and bonding in equal measure with the rest of us on here ❤
I know he would have been amazed at the success we had in the Prem and more amazed at how we are developing as a club now. And yes he hated the Oystons, even back in the day.

Remember guys , depression can be a silent killer and always seek help if needed.
RIP lovely dad, I’m still always so proud of you and UTMP ! X
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Lovely post. Here's to Mr Lala. 👍
 
Great you can share that on here Lala - I’m sure he’d be very proud of you and his grandkids - keep smiling
 
22abus said:
Great you can share that on here Lala - I’m sure he’d be very proud of you and his grandkids - keep smiling
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Thank you 😊
To be honest I only really share openly on here 🤔 which is a testament to you guys alongside a certain anonymity.
It massively helps though,always better thoughts out than thoughts in 👍
Onwards and upwards bothers and sisters ❤
 
Lala said:
26 years ago tomorrow my dad, a massive pool fan took his own life.
I’d like to think if he were alive today he’d have embraced modern technology and been on avftt squabbling and bonding in equal measure with the rest of us on here ❤
I know he would have been amazed at the success we had in the Prem and more amazed at how we are developing as a club now. And yes he hated the Oystons, even back in the day.

Remember guys , depression can be a silent killer and always seek help if needed.
RIP lovely dad, I’m still always so proud of you and UTMP ! X
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Mate I'm so sorry I didn't know, I have experienced friends suicides but not relatives, thinking you right now xxx
 
SeasideTerrier said:
Lala,
People will find solace and strength from your post.
Once BFC gets in the blood, it keeps building memories
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I hope they do ! And thank you 😍
And always remember, it’s totally fine to feel sad sometimes, it’s feeling it, letting go of it, and moving forward that’s important, but letting yourself feel it is the strongest part.
 
You’re a good ‘un Karen. 🤗
Your AVFTT virtual family will be thinking about you tomorrow. Make sure you do something nice and positive. X
 
tangerine_neil said:
You’re a good ‘un Karen. 🤗
Your AVFTT virtual family will be thinking about you tomorrow. Make sure you do something nice and positive. X
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Thank you Neil ❤️I’ve never worked on this anniversary in all 26 years passed.I’ve got jobs planned for myself tomorrow, and have taken up drawing/sketching 🤣 which I am truly shit at, but it’s uber therapeutic, and seeing my iovely girls tomorrow night.
Life is a very beautiful thing if you learn to play it right. Love to you ❤️
 
Lala said:
Thank you Neil ❤I’ve never worked on this anniversary in all 26 years passed.I’ve got jobs planned for myself tomorrow, and have taken up drawing/sketching 🤣 which I am truly shit at, but it’s uber therapeutic, and seeing my iovely girls tomorrow night.
Life is a very beautiful thing if you learn to play it right. Love to you ❤
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Enjoy your art and seeing your girls. 🙂
Drawing/sketching/painting is mostly about technique and practice. You will get better the more you do. I also like to draw/paint but I don’t seem to get the time these days. Something for next year maybe.
 
Lala, so sorry to hear that.
Don't know what age he was but maybe I knew/met him?
That is, I left the area in 1972 for many years so maybe not?
 
Big hugs, Lala.
Your dad would be very proud of you, especially at how you’ve kept us muppets in line for so long!

😍
 
Davepick said:
Lala, so sorry to hear that.
Don't know what age he was but maybe I knew/met him?
That is, I left the area in 1972 for many years so maybe not?
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Maybe Dave, he was born 1943,Eric Hogarth, went to Devi Rd school then a brikkie, then at Salwick from late 70’s but you’d be gone by then.
 
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Karen - hard to believe it's 26 years ago. I can remember my brother coming back from playing cricket on a Saturday (Paul was in his side and we knew your dad) and telling me the news. It was a massive shock for him and the rest of the team, God knows how it impacted on you as a family. I remember Eric building the 'new' scorebox at Illawalla, so there's a lasting piece of him around.

These things happen far too often - i have a friend down here, who's dad committed suicide completely out of the blue. Don't want to give too much detail regarding him, but i can say that his family and professional life would seem very successful to most people. And just the other day, my eldest came home and mentioned that a cousin of his ex had hung himself. This was a kid of 14.

I don't mind saying that i've had dark times in my life and it feels impossible to confront and make a change. But i found that just by telling someone how you feel, a huge weight is lifted and any problems feel like nothing. I believe that people are inherently good and will always listen and help someone in need. So if anyone is feeling in a dark and difficult place, just shout for help. Just the act of asking for help, for letting go and admitting that you need some support will be cathartic in itself. I promise.

Sorry - didn't mean to rattle on. Thoughts with you and the family LaLa ♥
 
straightatthewall said:
Karen - hard to believe it's 26 years ago. I can remember my brother coming back from playing cricket on a Saturday (Paul was in his side and we knew your dad) and telling me the news. It was a massive shock for him and the rest of the team, God knows how it impacted on you as a family. I remember Eric building the 'new' scorebox at Illawalla, so there's a lasting piece of him around.

These things happen far too often - i have a friend down here, who's dad committed suicide completely out of the blue. Don't want to give too much detail regarding him, but i can say that his family and professional life would seem very successful to most people. And just the other day, my eldest came home and mentioned that a cousin of his ex had hung himself. This was a kid of 14.

I don't mind saying that i've had dark times in my life and it feels impossible to confront and make a change. But i found that just by telling someone how you feel, a huge weight is lifted and any problems feel like nothing. I believe that people are inherently good and will always listen and help someone in need. So if anyone is feeling in a dark and difficult place, just shout for help. Just the act of asking for help, for letting go and admitting that you need some support will be cathartic in itself. I promise.

Sorry - didn't mean to rattle on. Thoughts with you and the family LaLa ♥
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Thanks Satw, a lovely post especially as you knew him ❤
It is a terrible illness and as you say asking for help is always paramount. That’s probably why it tends to affect you fellas more, you need to speak up.
Glad your dark moments have passed, we get one shot at this life and the devastation left behind is simply gross.
But onwards and upwards and thanks for taking the time to post 😍
And yes there’s another lasting piece of him around, me !!! X
 
Lala , very sad to hear this. I hope life brings you and your family only good things. Although many of us may not know many others personally on the board it does feel as if we are a group of friends . I have enjoyed reading a number of your threads in the past and I think your dad would be very proud of you.
 
I’ve already posted on this thread with my own demons, but there’s more. My dad aged 14 found his father, my grandfather hanging. Needless to say it had a profound impact on his life and he became a very unhappy alcoholic.
 
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