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Any parents have Alzheimer’s on here

highfieldsouthshore

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
 

straightatthewall

Well-known member
I think plenty will recognise your situation. My mother in law has it and I can see the deterioration speeding up. She seems to get calmness by doing the things that were always her jobs - ironing, washing up, making beds etc. Initially we thought we were helping her by taking those tasks away, but she’s better doing them. She has a cat (she lives with my sister in law so it’s well cared for) and that also helps with company and tasks.

I’m no expert though. I just try and do things that I think help, whilst helping her keep her dignity. Involve her in things and treat like she’s the same old person she always was.

For professional help, i got told Admiral nurses are worth investigating. Similar to Macmillan I think, but for dementia. Unfortunately they don’t cover all regions/towns - they didn’t cover us - but maybe you’ll be ‘lucky’.

All the best to you. Happy to share thoughts whenever you like. It’s an impossible thing to deal with so don’t feel you have to do it on your own. 👍🏻
 

Lala

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
Oh that’s sad to hear.

I don’t have any experience with relatives with dementia so I can’t provide any credible advice or recommendations.
Sending you love though, and hope you get the support your dad needs and deserves.
 

Seainsea

Well-known member
It's a horrendous disease and you have my sympathy. The Alzheimers Society https://www.alzheimers.org.uk is a good starting point for information. Every individual is different in how the illness progresses. Your Dad's support network will become more and more important and at some point your Dad will more than likely need 24 hours a day/seven day a week care. My experience is that it is just as challenging and stressful to be the carer so you should plan ahead.
 

Hazi

Well-known member
Feel for you pal, Lost my mum to this horrible disease, the long goodbye, take comfort in the fact that they don't know what's going on. Music therapy really works get some CDs with all there favourite tunes on.
 

Sooty59

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
Can you still get him to the ground?
 

BFC87

Well-known member
I went through the whole experience from early stages through to nursing home with my father 20 yrs ago. You must seek professional advice,doctor etc. or maybe someone will be along with more up to date advice than I can give you.
Sincerest best wishes for your dad.
 

Wizzerboy

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
My eldest works for the community trust and has confirmed what pollenca has posted.
Sporting memories is every Thursday from 1 til half 2
Contact the trust through pollencas link👍🏻
 

highfieldsouthshore

Well-known member
Cheers lads and lasses yeah he still goes to the game but doesn’t know the score by the time we get home .the government are useless they do northing if it was my chice
I’d put something in his drink and never wake up. Who wants to grow old not knowing who your family is wanting to go to the house theybweee born not weekk I’mf not be able to pop themselves . I’ve watched my dad build houses do roofs hang doors , he can’t even tie his shoes Lavisa now
 

Lewis_Winthorpe

Well-known member
My father had it and it's fucking horrible.

Like yours, my dad thought Sir Stan still played for us. This was in the mid 90's. Sadly he died and probably died thinking Matthews hadn't retired.

I used to joke to my mum that he probably still thinks he plays because he was actually so old when he did hang up his boots.
 

straightatthewall

Well-known member
My father had it and it's fucking horrible.

Like yours, my dad thought Sir Stan still played for us. This was in the mid 90's. Sadly he died and probably died thinking Matthews hadn't retired.

I used to joke to my mum that he probably still thinks he plays because he was actually so old when he did hang up his boots.
Based on some of our players in the 90’s he was better off thinking it was the Great Man. 😉
 

Wizaard

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
My Dad has gone downhill far more rapidly I believe as a consequence of lockdown, where he just missed so much social interaction. I believe it's stopped that stimulation he needed.
 

TSSeasider

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
I've had experience with MrsTSS's Grandma.

More importantly, she's an occupational therapist by profession and is a senior lecturer at a local university now.

What she said is to get involved in this 'Gems' model of care. She said it is the best she's seen to understand and put in interventions as the condition changes.

Hope it helps.

 

Tangerinemoss

Well-known member
We are in the last days of it with my MiL. Early stages, talking about the past (to us) patience when things go wrong, fidget stuff (my MiL had a knitted pocket with lots of different textures). Get the doctor and professionals involved as soon as, take what care is offered. Later on, care when needed, get involved to make sure he gets what he needs and you are happy with it. Agree as a family what treatment you do and don't want for him. As a thread a while ago, think about powers of attorney and care

You need to look after yourselves as well, do not feel guilty if you get him a bit of respite care now and again, its a marathon not a sprint.

Lots of love, its flipping hard
 

TimperleyTangerine

Well-known member
Both my parents were diagnosed with dementia, within a month of each other last year, Mum with Vascular and Dad with Alzheimers. It’s incredible the change in such a short space of time, and I know there is more and worse to come.

They enjoy listening to music from the past, and Dad will watch any sport, but only when I’m there, as they can’t use the TV remote control. I have tried to get them to play cards together, and jigsaws.

It’s sometimes funny and sad at the same time. I highly recommend a large digital clock (dementia clock) as it helps them to keep track of days and dates, which helps with food. Also a simple mechanical kitchen timer for cooking. Also got them Alexa, as they can ask questions, play music and set a timer when they forget how to use the mechanical one.

They were both given medication that has slowed the disease progression, but that is now not helping.

There is much talk about the disease, about the need to do more, but the reality is, that family / children have to pick up the pieces and deal with the emotional turmoil. It is important to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty, when you need to step away for a breather.

It is important that everyone considers POA, because by the time it happens, it’s too late. I was fortunate to get it all in place, as dealing with banks / authorities etc. is time consuming enough.

One thing I have found, is that by making them try to do tasks (as opposed to becoming reliant on me) has given them better focus. That won’t last forever, but it’s given them some independence for a little longer.
 
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Pollenca

Well-known member
I can relate to all of these experiences having gone through this in the last few years .
Timperley is right , take time out for yourself , especially if you are the main carer . There is lots of help available for carers nowadays such as local support groups , speak to social services or the Alzheimers Society as a starting point.

And as Tangerinemoss says, its flipping hard , keep talking about it and get all the help available.
 

SirHarryThomson

Well-known member
I work for the NHS and work with people with dementia. As mentioned above the Community Trust run sporting memories sessions. I know these were suspended due to Covid but might be up and running again. Ive taken people to these sessions and they all enjoy.
 

Seasilk59

Well-known member
my Dad has this, the good thing is he doesn’t realise so in a sense he’s in a contented world but it’s caused untold grief for his family.
 

BigHandsOliverKahn

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
I'm in a similar situation to you. My dad has been football mad all his life, was a season ticket holder for probably 30 out of the last 35 years but his dementia has accelerated in the past year or so and now he has lost interest in almost everything including going to games.

It's a bizarre illness. The rest of his body is fit as a fiddle. He can walk for miles but he can't remember close relatives and the memories he does still have are often recollections from 40 years ago or more. I just try to make sure he enjoys the moment. It's a waste of time talking about the past or future with him.

I think with people living longer, the brain is struggling to live as long as the rest of the body, possibly because it is the most energy demanding organ in the body so can wear out quicker.
 

1966_and_all_that

Well-known member
Both my parents were diagnosed with dementia, within a month of each other last year, Mum with Vascular and Dad with Alzheimers. It’s incredible the change in such a short space of time, and I know there is more and worse to come.

They enjoy listening to music from the past, and Dad will watch any sport, but only when I’m there, as they can’t use the TV remote control. I have tried to get them to play cards together, and jigsaws.

It’s sometimes funny and sad at the same time. I highly recommend a large digital clock (dementia clock) as it helps them to keep track of days and dates, which helps with food. Also a simple mechanical kitchen timer for cooking. Also got them Alexa, as they can ask questions, play music and set a timer when they forget how to use the mechanical one.

They were both given medication that has slowed the disease progression, but that is now not helping.

There is much talk about the disease, about the need to do more, but the reality is, that family / children have to pick up the pieces and deal with the emotional turmoil. It is important to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty, when you need to step away for a breather.

It is important that everyone considers POA, because by the time it happens, it’s too late. I was fortunate to get it all in place, as dealing with banks / authorities etc. is time consuming enough.

One thing I have found, is that by making them try to do tasks (as opposed to becoming reliant on me) has given them better focus. That won’t last forever, but it’s given them some independence for a little longer.
Top post. Me and wife now have POA for my Aunt - Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. Very early stages, so we can cope. Note to all similar posters, don't beat yourselves up. Just manage it as best you can.
 

Giro

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful.
The biggest problem is any change of routine. It can have very negative effects. If possible, routine is the best option.

It’s a truly awful disease. If he’s confused but not stressed, it’s as good as it can be. It’s good he can remember positives from his past.

Unfortunately, my father remembered too many things that left him broken.

Went to see him one day, and he was in floods of tears. I asked him what was wrong, he told me, my Mum had died.

I hadn’t got the heart to try and tell him, it’s was 10 years ago. He kept remembering things, as if it had just happened.

He once wrecked his bathroom nearly pulling the sink of the wall. He thought he was trapped in his tank. The reality was, he and his co driver we’re the only 2 of the 5 crew who manage to get out.

I really hope you father continues to be calm.

Just to end on slightly lighter note. On one occasion he seem rather agitated. When I asked him why? He told me that his house had been turned into a Bingo Hall! Don’t ask😊
 
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1966_and_all_that

Well-known member
The biggest problem is any change of routine. It can have very negative effects. If possible, routine is the best option.

It’s a truly awful disease. If he’s confused but not stressed, it’s as good as it can be. It’s good he can remember positives from his past.

Unfortunately, my father remembered too many things that left him broken.

Went to see him one day, and he was in floods of tears. I asked him what was wrong, he told me, my Mum had died.

I hadn’t got the heart try and tell him, it’s was 10 years ago. He kept remembering things, as if it had just happened.

He once wrecked his bathroom nearly pulling the sink of the wall. He thought he was trapped in his tank
Kinell Giro. Good luck mate.
 

heapster

Well-known member
The biggest problem is any change of routine. It can have very negative effects. If possible, routine is the best option.

It’s a truly awful disease. If he’s confused but not stressed, it’s as good as it can be. It’s good he can remember positives from his past.

Unfortunately, my father remembered too many things that left him broken.

Went to see him one day, and he was in floods of tears. I asked him what was wrong, he told me, my Mum had died.

I hadn’t got the heart try and tell him, it’s was 10 years ago. He kept remembering things, as if it had just happened.

He once wrecked his bathroom nearly pulling the sink of the wall. He thought he was trapped in his tank
 

straightatthewall

Well-known member
I'm in a similar situation to you. My dad has been football mad all his life, was a season ticket holder for probably 30 out of the last 35 years but his dementia has accelerated in the past year or so and now he has lost interest in almost everything including going to games.

It's a bizarre illness. The rest of his body is fit as a fiddle. He can walk for miles but he can't remember close relatives and the memories he does still have are often recollections from 40 years ago or more. I just try to make sure he enjoys the moment. It's a waste of time talking about the past or future with him.

I think with people living longer, the brain is struggling to live as long as the rest of the body, possibly because it is the most energy demanding organ in the body so can wear out quicker.
Best wishes with it superhands.👍🏻
 

Mr Tangerine Man

Well-known member
Terrible illness, you lose them once then lose them again. Our generation 55/65 have become the generation of carers, you just get your kids off your hands and your parents turn into children. Best of luck mate it ain't easy.
 

Sooty59

Well-known member
Their long term memory is something to tap into & as someone has said old photos can be used & old short comedy's (Laurel & Hardy worked a little with my dad) plus talking about things long in the past. Just do as much as you can before things worsen to the degree it's not possible. I believe there are some drugs that can slow the process down & these are worth pursuing. Just be there for him & try your best. People have suggested POA which can be useful for someone to look after his financial affairs etc.
Horrible illness, you all have my sympathies in caring for loved ones suffering from Alzheimer's & Dementia.
 

Curryman

Well-known member
I feel that all the advice that can be given has been. I worked in a nursing home for four years where we had a number of dementia and Alzheimer's patients, each one was at a different stage and we had one old chap who persisted in exposing himself at the windows in the home, causing complaints from neighbours. Poor old chap had no idea he was doing it.

That said, it made it no easier for me when my mum was diagnosed with dementia. The worst part was when she stopped recognising me, that really hurt. My only advise is be as compassionate as you can be, be gentle, play along with any ideas they have, as no doubt they will forget what they wanted in the first instance.

It was a blessed relief once she passed away which sounds heartless, but at least she was finally at rest.

Good luck.
 

Josuah98

Well-known member
Mother in law died from it (organ failure in the end) it’s good that he can speak at the moment and makes some sense. Always found it helped when I asked her how old she was, this way I could gauge what to talk to her about.
it has its funny moments as well if you don’t see them in a sad way. Remember taking her up town and in a clothes shop she stood in front of a full length mirror saying “after you”. She thought there was another room and the lady before her was blocking the door. You have to seethe funny side and not the sad to cope.
 

highfieldsouthshore

Well-known member
It's a horrendous disease and you have my sympathy. The Alzheimers Society https://www.alzheimers.org.uk is a good starting point for information. Every individual is different in how the illness progresses. Your Dad's support network will become more and more important and at some point your Dad will more than likely need 24 hours a day/seven day a week care. My experience is that it is just as challenging and stressful to be the carer so you should plan ahead.
Cheers for your support I worked with him since a left school wee were alswsys bickering but he started putting locks Amanda handles upside down it’s so said watch to see hi I’m deteriorating very, he was a strong man he can’t even go to the toilet I wish we could give him a tablet and never wake up . I know there’s millions of us um mhm
Can you still get him to the ground?
yeah but he has to sit near bottom and he has to leave at half time concentration is shocking
 

Southshoresteve

Well-known member
My dads been a bfc season ticket holder for years in the last 5 years his dementia has got worse and the only comfort or whenever he is calm is when he watches the pool . He thinks Stanley Mathews is still playing and stanmortensoin is Jerry hates he can name the 1953 team plus subs but can’t tie his own shoelaces . Does any other bfc fans parents suffer and how do they cope . It is by far the worse desease there is . A proud man broken to the mentality of a 2!year old . Does anyone have any advice or do the club do any activities . It’s hard when just ten years ago he was building houses now he doesn’t even know how to go to the toilet . Any help or positivity would be helpful
Blackpool Carers Centre in Newton Drive will offer great support if you need help and advice 👍
 

Bozzer

Well-known member
Every sympathy pal,my mum is in Glenroyd with vascular dementia and sometimes thinks I am her brother who died a few years ago,she asks when Jack (my dad) is coming even though he died last year and she went to the funeral. A couple of years ago you could have a conversation about the old days which she could remember well even though she didn't know what she'd had for lunch,now you just can't hold a conversation at all. The only plus during covid has been she can't actually remember when we haven't visited for a while.
 
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