Friday Jokes

Bloke goes in to a pub with his dog. He orders a pint and tells the barman his dog is a blacksmith. Barman tells him he must be drunk, with that the bloke yanks the dogs tail and it makes a bolt for the door.
 
Went to a Chinese restaurant before lock down. The waiter left a basket on the table, and we noticed the lid lifting slightly and a small pair of eyes appeared. This happened a couple of times before our main meals arrived. We asked the waiter, he said "sorry I thought you'd ordered the peaking duck".
 
The wife suggested that if I was bored during lockdown I should make a bird table..... Now she's kicking off because I've only put her down in fifth place....I cant win
 
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