FRIDAY JOKES

TANGERINETOWERPOWER

Well-known member
After her accident, Katie Price was thrown out of her car and into a ditch. Her clothes were torn off and all she could find to cover her modesty was a shoe over her minge. The police said "is any one still trapped?" she said "yes, my boyfriend" the copper looked at the shoe and said " if hes in that far, there's no hope of saving him I'm afraid"
 
During a visit to my doctors I asked him . . . "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well" he said, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a tea cup and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub" "Oh, I understand" I said "Because a normal person would use the bucket as it's bigger then the spoon or the teacup" "No" he said "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or the door?"
 
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead the pain is only felt by your family and others.

Being stupid is much the same.
 
After her accident, Katie Price was thrown out of her car and into a ditch. Her clothes were torn off and all she could find to cover her modesty was a shoe over her minge. The police said "is any one still trapped?" she said "yes, my boyfriend" the copper looked at the shoe and said " if hes in that far, there's no hope of saving him I'm afraid"
Variant on the bowler hat and Acker Bilk gag😁
 
2 Nobbers living in London decided to travel to a sperm bank in Harley Street and donate. What a cock up. One came on the bus and the other missed the tube.
 
A nobber's been feeling under the weather recently so decides to see the doctor. Being a nobber and a bit thick, along with being a bit hard of hearing, decides to take his mum along for support.
After the consultation the doctor's not sure what's wrong, so he says to be on the safe we'll run some tests...I need a blood sample, a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample.
Slightly confused, the nobber asks his mum what all that means.
" Don't worry son", says Mum, "the doctor just wants you to leave your underpants at reception" 😂
 
After her accident, Katie Price was thrown out of her car and into a ditch. Her clothes were torn off and all she could find to cover her modesty was a shoe over her minge. The police said "is any one still trapped?" she said "yes, my boyfriend" the copper looked at the shoe and said " if hes in that far, there's no hope of saving him I'm afraid"
“ if he’s in that far, there’s no hope of saving him”- the boyfriend must have been a Remoaner!😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
 
Paddy the Irishman at Newmarket races when a tipster came up behind him and said” Hey would you like the winner of the next race?” “No” said Paddy “I only have a small garden!”
 
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