The growth of a Fan Base and capitalising on it

BFC_BFC_BFC said:
So what though? I mean some bloke is 'distressed' because some of his members haven't made the cut on your last game ballot.... I mean just read that sentence back and contemplate it for a moment.... 1. Said bloke needs to seriously get a grip 2. Why the fuck are you concerning yourself with that bullshit and 3. Someone(s) are always going to be peeved off because they failed to get a ticket if they are in short supply.

You're involved with disaffected Disabled and LBGT fans how? Are these Family Members or Friends?
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The guy concerned is a long term wholly committed supporter who represents thousands, and the people he represents are folk who devote their entire lives to following the club-peeved doesn't even run it close.Nothing personal but you either get it or you dont but I'm sure there are Blackpool fans who understand it.

I am involved with one of the clubs national fans groups, sit on the WY fans police forum and have just stepped down from the clubs Advisory Board. I've also contributed to the LGBT group and am a longstanding contributor to the disabled group which has often been neglected by some of our 'legacy' fans.

Not forgetting the Blackpool Association of Supporters Involved with Leeds.
 
Hooleys said:
A plastic fan for me is a UTD fan or city or Liverpool or any other top club armchair fan who never goes or even tries to go ! Using the I could never get a ticket line ! But never tries to buy a ticket in truth.
Blackpool would always take more than 7/8000 to Wembley though.
personally I’d welcome all newcomers especially people who are willing to buy a season ticket as long as it didn’t stop a Seasider getting one, and that’s not going to happen yet. 👍
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Agree to an extent with your plastic definition BUT what about fans in India, China, America who can’t watch Liverpool, United etc in the flesh but get uo, stay up etc and watch at ludicrous times sacrificing time with families, having an hours sleep before a full days work etc. What about fans who support Man City or Chelsea because their Dad did and they hit taken when they were younger and hit the passion but now are poorly paid or can’t find work but can watch their team on telly?......are they all “plastic”?
 
Plumbs said:
The guy concerned is a long term wholly committed supporter who represents thousands, and the people he represents are folk who devote their entire lives to following the club-peeved doesn't even run it close.Nothing personal but you either get it or you dont but I'm sure there are Blackpool fans who understand it.

I am involved with one of the clubs national fans groups, sit on the WY fans police forum and have just stepped down from the clubs Advisory Board. I've also contributed to the LGBT group and am a longstanding contributor to the disabled group which has often been neglected by some of our 'legacy' fans.

Not forgetting the Blackpool Association of Supporters Involved with Leeds.
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The real B.A.S.I.L 👍
 
Plumbs said:
The guy concerned is a long term wholly committed supporter who represents thousands, and the people he represents are folk who devote their entire lives to following the club-peeved doesn't even run it close.Nothing personal but you either get it or you dont but I'm sure there are Blackpool fans who understand it.

I am involved with one of the clubs national fans groups, sit on the WY fans police forum and have just stepped down from the clubs Advisory Board. I've also contributed to the LGBT group and am a longstanding contributor to the disabled group which has often been neglected by some of our 'legacy' fans.

Not forgetting the Blackpool Association of Supporters Involved with Leeds.
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Don't get what? That you don;t always get exactly what you want and that occasionally you need to pick you bottom lip off the floor and stop being a bit of a fanny? What I do get is that there are far more important things going on in the world that actually merit some level of concern and whether or not you get a ** ticket for a daft Football Game ain't one of them. Of course I'm still struggling to grasp what on earth this has to do with your constant griping on here about the FSF/FSA/FCBEBD etc..etc..

So you are essentially just another one of the people that you choose to criticise..Essentially a heavily invested committee man who evidently has very strong opinions and based upon our experience on a non-Leeds Forum want to ram those opinions down anyones throat who will listen.

So what exactly is your beef with the world? On the face of it the only thing I can grasp is that there seem to be quite a lot of people who you don't agree with and lots who seem not to agree with you?

Anyway, It's clearly something that makes you very angry and what have you.... Does it make you happy?
 
Top OP 👍
If we all contribute to the recruitment drive we could easily reach 15K+ attendances. It's the least we can do to support our committed owner who has done so much already.
It's perfect timings as well. Any, 'big' club plastic supporters must be pretty disillusioned by the ESL fiasco, so they are the low hanging fruit that are ripe to be picked off.
The attractions of switching and watching their home town club at the moment are huge and perhaps never been higher.
We all need to keep spreading the word about how good it is now following Blackpool. For me personally it has never felt better...
 
Giro said:
If you had a choice. Would you welcome one and all?🤭

Nobbers excluded, of course.😉
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I think the people who kept going into the ground and paying the Oystons during the boycott were wrong morally either through ignorance or other reasons.
If your question is would I ban those people from attending then no I wouldn’t
 
Bloodtangerine said:
I think the people who kept going into the ground and paying the Oystons during the boycott were wrong morally either through ignorance or other reasons.
If your question is would I ban those people from attending then no I wouldn’t
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Bloodtangerine said:
I think the people who kept going into the ground and paying the Oystons during the boycott were wrong morally either through ignorance or other reasons.
If your question is would I ban those people from attending then no I wouldn’t
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A fair minded approach👍
 
Bloodtangerine said:
Agree to an extent with your plastic definition BUT what about fans in India, China, America who can’t watch Liverpool, United etc in the flesh but get uo, stay up etc and watch at ludicrous times sacrificing time with families, having an hours sleep before a full days work etc. What about fans who support Man City or Chelsea because their Dad did and they hit taken when they were younger and hit the passion but now are poorly paid or can’t find work but can watch their team on telly?......are they all “plastic”?
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If you can’t go due to finances that over rules any made up rules, and I’m not talking about other countries, that has no bearing on the O/P..
#all welcome for me. Once the get the Tangerine bug it’s up to us to keep them 😜😁👍🧡🍊⚽️😁👍
 
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
Don't get what? That you don;t always get exactly what you want and that occasionally you need to pick you bottom lip off the floor and stop being a bit of a fanny? What I do get is that there are far more important things going on in the world that actually merit some level of concern and whether or not you get a ** ticket for a daft Football Game ain't one of them.
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Agreed-absolutely-but for some its not the case and I at least respect that.

BFC_BFC_BFC said:
Of course I'm still struggling to grasp what on earth this has to do with your constant griping on here about the FSF/FSA/FCBEBD etc..etc..
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These groups seek to gain an advantage over the rest just like the Fans Parliament did at BR.Same shite but different hat as far as I'm concerned but where (with the FSA) its supposed to be equitable and fair.
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
So you are essentially just another one of the people that you choose to criticise..Essentially a heavily invested committee man who evidently has very strong opinions and based upon our experience on a non-Leeds Forum want to ram those opinions down anyones throat who will listen.
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Nope-not me.I just step in to help people and I'm not ramming anything down anyones throat,just telling you from my 12 years plus experience of fans groups.Btw I contacted @TwelveAngryMen some years ago to recommend he attend the Supporters Direct (at the time) he goes down to the AGM at St Georges Park when he was involved with SISA.
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
So what exactly is your beef with the world? On the face of it the only thing I can grasp is that there seem to be quite a lot of people who you don't agree with and lots who seem not to agree with you?

Anyway, It's clearly something that makes you very angry and what have you.... Does it make you happy?
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Not angry and only have a beef with others who cheat their fellow fans and lie to get their own agenda across,which more often that not means ordinary fans missing out.

WIth regards to the OP- if I was on the BST committee I'd be making inroads into the local community, including the Asian LGBT and other groups that may feel no connection with the football club.In my view there is far too much importance on blowing bubbles up the arse of the FSA rather than their own football club, and that includes helping the Armfield Club get through the pandemic and its challenges.

Just saying because after all its supposed to be a free world where we have a right to express an opinion.
 
Bloodtangerine said:
My two sons are 21 and 23 and both Utd fans and both brought up in Blackpool.

They and 3 mates (who all support other teams) have today bought 5 season tickets together in North Stand to go and cheer on the Tangerines having really enjoyed the play off semis and finals and getting caught up with it all.

I know some of the auld fuddies on here would probably prefer they hadn't bought tickets, think they’re plastics etc etc zzzzzz......but it’s an interesting tiny example of how crowds/support can grow rapidly if a club has a spell of success and prices are reasonable and so forth. I know Simon Sadler and the people he has working from him will be doing their best to capitalise on this.
I can see 10,000 season tickets with a bit of advertising, a bit of buzz around new signings and the icing on the cake will be if England do well at the Euros as that always boost football attendances the following season.

Then it’s a question of trying to keep these new less devout “secondary” fans going forwards and the best guarantee of that is a sense of belonging and decent Football
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Love it. They’ll be hooked on the atmosphere and meeting up with mates on match days. You can’t beat it.
 
Plumbs said:
Agreed-absolutely-but for some its not the case and I at least respect that.
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No it is like that for everyone, but some people have their priorties all mixed up. I can understand that, but I'm not sure I can respect it.

Plumbs said:
These groups seek to gain an advantage over the rest just like the Fans Parliament did at BR.Same shite but different hat as far as I'm concerned but where (with the FSA) its supposed to be equitable and fair.
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So "These Groups"... Who specifically is seeking to gain an advantage and in what way is that impacting on you and others to cause such (apparent) deep seated concern?

Plumbs said:
Nope-not me.I just step in to help people and I'm not ramming anything down anyones throat,just telling you from my 12 years plus experience of fans groups.Btw I contacted @TwelveAngryMen some years ago to recommend he attend the Supporters Direct (at the time) he goes down to the AGM at St Georges Park when he was involved with SISA.
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Well actually you are ramming it down peoples throats because you are on our forum continuously contaminating thread after thread with the same old bollocks. I'm sure you have spoken with TAM and recommended that he attend Supporters Direct, though I'm not sure what that has to do with the spamming of threads on AVFTT.

Plumbs said:
Not angry and only have a beef with others who cheat their fellow fans and lie to get their own agenda across,which more often that not means ordinary fans missing out.
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So there's something here... You feel that 'ordinary fans' are missing out on something because certain fans in elevated positions are gaining advantage. So how big is this issue? Are we talking about a few tickets here and there? Hundreds / Thousands? and why are the fans not up in arms about it?

Plumbs said:
WIth regards to the OP- if I was on the BST committee I'd be making inroads into the local community, including the Asian LGBT and other groups that may feel no connection with the football club.In my view there is far too much importance on blowing bubbles up the arse of the FSA rather than their own football club, and that includes helping the Armfield Club get through the pandemic and its challenges.
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Well that's all fine, but you ain't on the BST committee and in reality I'm not convinced that BST ought to really be tasked with any responsibility for developing the fan base, beyond simply supporting the Club it their own chosen activity. The Club really needs to take responsibility for engaging with different sections of the Local Community IMHO.

If you don't mind me saying, this feels (on the face of it) like you perhaps have an issue with the FSA that's bubbling under the surface. I'm guessing that you've perhaps had a bit of a personality clash or disagreement and therefore this has resulted in where we are here. Essentially you feeling the need to try and redirect the policy decisions of once of the most respected Supporters Trusts in the UK?

Plumbs said:
Just saying because after all its supposed to be a free world where we have a right to express an opinion.
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Yes we have a right to express an opinion, but as I've said, I'm not sure it's really fair or reasonable for you to persist in derailing (or attempting to derail) Blackpool FC and unrelated discussions in order to push your own personal agenda / vendetta.

I mean I can only speak as I find Plumbs and you've made a very welcome contribution to this forum over the years, but I'm struggling to grasp where you are at with all this at the minute. The guy from the FSA (was it from the FSA?) came on here a while ago in order to try and answer some of your accusations / concerns or whatever and (at least from what I could see), he came across as balanced and reasonable and you came across as angry, bitter and slightly ill informed. Now of course that may be totally wrong, but it feels (on the face of it) like something or someone has hurt your feelings or something hasn't gone your way and you are operating in "Sour Grape" mode.

Anyway... I don't think it's unreasonable to perhaps politely request that you don't persist in bringing this stuff to our forum... or at least if you do then maybe contain it in a related thread and be specific about what you mean, so that people can grasp what you are on about.
 
Plumbs said:
Agreed-absolutely-but for some its not the case and I at least respect that.


These groups seek to gain an advantage over the rest just like the Fans Parliament did at BR.Same shite but different hat as far as I'm concerned but where (with the FSA) its supposed to be equitable and fair.

Nope-not me.I just step in to help people and I'm not ramming anything down anyones throat,just telling you from my 12 years plus experience of fans groups.Btw I contacted @TwelveAngryMen some years ago to recommend he attend the Supporters Direct (at the time) he goes down to the AGM at St Georges Park when he was involved with SISA.

Not angry and only have a beef with others who cheat their fellow fans and lie to get their own agenda across,which more often that not means ordinary fans missing out.

WIth regards to the OP- if I was on the BST committee I'd be making inroads into the local community, including the Asian LGBT and other groups that may feel no connection with the football club.In my view there is far too much importance on blowing bubbles up the arse of the FSA rather than their own football club, and that includes helping the Armfield Club get through the pandemic and its challenges.

Just saying because after all its supposed to be a free world where we have a right to express an opinion.
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I can see both sides.

Bifster is right in that football really shouldn’t matter that much, it’s totally crazy when you think about it , but we are all guilty of signing up to the hype. We wouldn’t be on here, or buying season tickets and supporting Napm if we didn’t take it so seriously.
So that supports Plumbs also in that it means a hell of a lot to some people and that shouldn’t be invalidated just because we don’t always prioritise it the same way. That includes committee membership and the like.
We all need a purpose and a self-esteem boost. If you find that supporting the rights of football fans or swinging from a tree decrying all things ‘not green’ then who are we to judge.
As long as your intentions are good then surely that’s good enough.
We can’t decide what is and isn’t important in someone else’s life or mind space. We can debate it, but maybe shouldn’t belittle it.
 
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
Anyway... I don't think it's unreasonable to perhaps politely request that you don't persist in bringing this stuff to our forum... or at least if you do then maybe contain it in a related thread and be specific about what you mean, so that people can grasp what you are on about.
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Aye thats ok but the guy from FSA had a complaint running against me and (in my view) came on here to pursue that, and the matter has been taken up by their Council.

At some point fans reach the 'had enough' stage and I had that when my wife was abused online, and some Seasiders fans had it with abuse from the Oystons.

Dont agree with the spamming accusation, but hey ho somethings come up that might give me the justice I've been seeking. (winky smiley)
 
Plumbs said:
Aye thats ok but the guy from FSA had a complaint running against me and (in my view) came on here to pursue that, and the matter has been taken up by their Council.

At some point fans reach the 'had enough' stage and I had that when my wife was abused online, and some Seasiders fans had it with abuse from the Oystons.

Dont agree with the spamming accusation, but hey ho somethings come up that might give me the justice I've been seeking. (winky smiley)
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Look that's a matter between you and the bloke from the FSA really, it should have never been on here in the first place really, which is partly what I'm going on about. That bloke didn't instigate that discussion you did and I don't think (given the accusations you were levelling) it was unreasonable for him to have a right to respond.

OK, so I can understand and I think we are maybe getting to the crux of the matter. I can fully understand that your wife getting abused on line is something that would really upset you. I don't know the circumstances surrounding that, but clearly it's not healthy when things develop to those kind of levels at all.

Like I say, on the spamming thing, I can only speak as I find... Maybe I just pick up on it more because I'm conscious of it, when other posters are simply baffled by it all. I think the fact that I have picked up on it and you have acknowledged that there is an underlying (disagreement) rumbling between you and whoever would suggest that you are repreating it frequently / spamming.

I hope that you get some sense of justice, because it feels to me like something that is troubling you and probably something that you would benefit from drawing a line under.
 
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
I haven't got a target Blood....

I do have an issue though and so I'm being open about that.....

The cryptic bollocks I can't be doing with, I;d rather just people be straight
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I ain’t being cryptic. Some times people just know something that they just can’t blurt out on a public forum for various reasons...it doesn't mean they’re being cryptic, coming the ** or not being straight
 
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
Look that's a matter between you and the bloke from the FSA really, it should have never been on here in the first place really, which is partly what I'm going on about. That bloke didn't instigate that discussion you did and I don't think (given the accusations you were levelling) it was unreasonable for him to have a right to respond.

OK, so I can understand and I think we are maybe getting to the crux of the matter. I can fully understand that your wife getting abused on line is something that would really upset you. I don't know the circumstances surrounding that, but clearly it's not healthy when things develop to those kind of levels at all.

Like I say, on the spamming thing, I can only speak as I find... Maybe I just pick up on it more because I'm conscious of it, when other posters are simply baffled by it all. I think the fact that I have picked up on it and you have acknowledged that there is an underlying (disagreement) rumbling between you and whoever would suggest that you are repreating it frequently / spamming.

I hope that you get some sense of justice, because it feels to me like something that is troubling you and probably something that you would benefit from drawing a line under.
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I think that’s a decent well thought out empathetic response Bifster.
If someone has been abused online it’s not on at all, but yes, it needs some kind of closure if it’s causing distress to Plumbs or any of his family.
Most debates and disputes run deeper than what they initially appear to.
Bumder, just hope everyone is ok.
There are much more bigger issues in life for sure, but in my experience that’s often easier to see and say looking from the outside in and not the other way around 🙁
 
Bloodtangerine said:
I ain’t being cryptic. Some times people just know something that they just can’t blurt out on a public forum for various reasons...it doesn't mean they’re being cryptic, coming the ** or not being straight
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I didn't suggest you were being cryptic or certainly not 'coming the **'... Although I do object to you refering to Plumbs as a 'Target', which despte you having no understanding whatsoever of my motivation you were happy to 'blurt out on an open forum'.
 
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
I didn't suggest you were being cryptic or certainly not 'coming the **'... Although I do object to you refering to Plumbs as a 'Target', which despte you having no understanding whatsoever of my motivation you were happy to 'blurt out on an open forum'.
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Target was the wrong word, you’re right Bifster
 
Lala said:
I think that’s a decent well thought out empathetic response Bifster.
If someone has been abused online it’s not on at all, but yes, it needs some kind of closure if it’s causing distress to Plumbs or any of his family.
Most debates and disputes run deeper than what they initially appear to.
Bumder, just hope everyone is ok.
There are much more bigger issues in life for sure, but in my experience that’s often easier to see and say looking from the outside in and not the other way around 🙁
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Your lasty sentence sums my feeling up here absolutely LALA and I can say that. because like most people I've found myself in similar circumstances myself. Battle lines drawn all consuming, unhealthily ruminating on matters... It is hard to see when you are in that bubble and those disagreements and proving you are right and they are wrong feels like the most important thing in the world.

What is the most important thing though is your own personal well being and sometimes we need to extract ourselves out of these situations for our own good.
 
BFC_BFC_BFC said:
Your lasty sentence sums my feeling up here absolutely LALA and I can say that. because like most people I've found myself in similar circumstances myself. Battle lines drawn all consuming, unhealthily ruminating on matters... It is hard to see when you are in that bubble and those disagreements and proving you are right and they are wrong feels like the most important thing in the world.

What is the most important thing though is your own personal well being and sometimes we need to extract ourselves out of these situations for our own good.
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This is high on my own personal agenda and mindset at the moment.
The years and time we waste ruminating introspectively and becoming stressed and angry and sad and low over things that really don’t matter is a tragedy.
I can’t knock those in the midst of it though because I’ve been the world’s worst.
You absolutely have to learn that the only thing that really matters is your own well-being and the well being of those you love, especially if your battle is about scoring points or taking the revenge approach.
So yeah, I’ve pretty much echoed your sentiments in a long winded way.
Love life, love yourself, sack off the stress. If you aren’t happy and peaceful you definitely aren’t winning.
Edit to add, that doesn’t mean you haven’t been wronged, or that it’s somehow easy to deal with that. It’s just saying you hold yourself back when you can’t let things go and focus on what matters in the long run.
 
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Lala said:
This is high on my own personal agenda and mindset at the moment.
The years and time we waste ruminating introspectively and becoming stressed and angry and sad and low over things that really don’t matter is a tragedy.
I can’t knock those in the midst of it though because I’ve been the world’s worst.
You absolutely have to learn that the only thing that really matters is your own well-being and the well being of those you love, especially if your battle is about scoring points or taking the revenge approach.
So yeah, I’ve pretty much echoed your sentiments in a long winded way.
Love life, love yourself, sack off the stress. If you aren’t happy and peaceful you definitely aren’t winning.
Edit to add, that doesn’t mean you haven’t been wronged, or that it’s somehow easy to deal with that. It’s just saying you hold yourself back when you can’t let things go and focus on what matters in the long run.
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In a lot of ways I agree but in others I don't. If you are fighting authority or power, it is exactly what they want you to do, to step away, take it easy on yourself, etc etc.

The challenge is, to understand if it's actually a fight worth having. Sometimes it is the obsessive self sacrifice of individuals taking an argument and refusing to let go when others would leave it alone that makes a difference.

Sometimes however, individuals can convince themselves they are fighting 'the good fight' over something that is utterly meaningless or perhaps utterly unwinnable.

I think you nail it when you say "if it's points scoring or taking revenge..." then give up...
 
td53 said:
In a lot of ways I agree but in others I don't. If you are fighting authority or power, it is exactly what they want you to do, to step away, take it easy on yourself, etc etc.

The challenge is, to understand if it's actually a fight worth having. Sometimes it is the obsessive self sacrifice of individuals taking an argument and refusing to let go when others would leave it alone that makes a difference.

Sometimes however, individuals can convince themselves they are fighting 'the good fight' over something that is utterly meaningless or perhaps utterly unwinnable.

I think you nail it when you say "if it's points scoring or taking revenge..." then give up...
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Totally agree with that.
Don’t get me wrong, part of my new philosophy is speaking my mind when I see and feel wrong-doing and not feeling guilty for doing so.

The next point is, if I’m getting unhealthily stressed by a battle that directly affects me, and there is no chance of a productive outcome, distance myself as far as I possibly can as soon as I can.
At the end of the day I will fight my corner and anyone else’s. But if its proving fruitless and making me ill I’m off to find a quieter more peaceful place for my head to exist in.
It’s absolutely about picking your battles and weighing up the outcomes and consequences.
I’m not about taking years off my life over a worthless battle anymore. Nobody benefits from that. I don’t want to be a dead martyr. Who does.
 
Lala said:
Totally agree with that.
Don’t get me wrong, part of my new philosophy is speaking my mind when I see and feel wrong-doing and not feeling guilty for doing so.

The next point is, if I’m getting unhealthily stressed by a battle that directly affects me, and there is no chance of a productive outcome, distance myself as far as I possibly can as soon as I can.
At the end of the day I will fight my corner and anyone else’s. But if its proving fruitless and making me ill I’m off to find a quieter more peaceful place for my head to exist in.
It’s absolutely about picking your battles and weighing up the outcomes and consequences.
I’m not about taking years off my life over a worthless battle anymore. Nobody benefits from that. I don’t want to be a dead martyr. Who does.
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Great points made by LALA and td53.

I can resonate with what you are discussing and could go on forever and a day - but don't want to get myself worked up and cause undue stress so I will keep it simple.

I have had experiences where I believe I have been wronged and chosen not to take matters further because I believed it would be for my overall benefit in the long run only to regret making such a decision further down the line.

I have also had experiences where I believe I have been wronged and have decided to take matters further in order to seek what I believed to be justice - certainly not revenge - only to regret making such a decision further down the line.

Very simply, I'd say it's often a case of principle against what's good for you.

I totally get what LALA said earlier on regarding it being easy for those outside the situation to lazily say it's not worthwhile, I also understand whens she suggests that people should consider their personal wellbeing and can certainly here what td53 says regarding when you are fighting for what's right against authority/power and how they'd rather you took a step back than have to address your situation.

I don't think I've said anything here but I could discuss this forever and a day.
 
SEASIDE2020 said:
Very simply, I'd say it's often a case of principle against what's good for you.
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Exactly. But not all principles are worth fighting for. The difficulty is knowing what is!

I guess that's where it helps to be social. I'm sometimes a bit too solitary for my own good and thus I can magnify things in my own head.

If I was more social more often, I'd probably realise through others that the problem ain't that big or important.

It's one of the things I've noticed having a kid. Sometimes I'll say "you are right, but it doesn't matter, it's not worth it" when my lad perceives some sort of injustice and wants to right it. I notice how the kids mind finds that very hard to accept.

Essentially, unfairness or inconsistencies or whatever is part of life. But it's dangerous to have the maxim "oh well, life is unfair" because we have to seek fairness and consistency otherwise we basically end up conceding any rights or hope for any measure of justice.

Sorry, that got a bit pompous.
 
td53 said:
Exactly. But not all principles are worth fighting for. The difficulty is knowing what is!

I guess that's where it helps to be social. I'm sometimes a bit too solitary for my own good and thus I can magnify things in my own head.

If I was more social more often, I'd probably realise through others that the problem ain't that big or important.

It's one of the things I've noticed having a kid. Sometimes I'll say "you are right, but it doesn't matter, it's not worth it" when my lad perceives some sort of injustice and wants to right it. I notice how the kids mind finds that very hard to accept.

Essentially, unfairness or inconsistencies or whatever is part of life. But it's dangerous to have the maxim "oh well, life is unfair" because we have to seek fairness and consistency otherwise we basically end up conceding any rights or hope for any measure of justice.

Sorry, that got a bit pompous.
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td53

Firstly, not pompous in the slightest and no need to apologise.

I'm far too solitary, magnify things in my own head and find it very hard to accept injustice - or what I believe to be an injustice - myself and I thought you knew me and were describing me there, I'm your little lad in the scenario.

I won't go on as I'd never stop but I was interested all night when BFC and Plumbs were discussing matters - interested generally not specifically - but managed to stop myself getting involved but then when LALA and yourself started discussing things generally I had to butt in.
 
td53 said:
Exactly. But not all principles are worth fighting for. The difficulty is knowing what is!

I guess that's where it helps to be social. I'm sometimes a bit too solitary for my own good and thus I can magnify things in my own head.

If I was more social more often, I'd probably realise through others that the problem ain't that big or important.

It's one of the things I've noticed having a kid. Sometimes I'll say "you are right, but it doesn't matter, it's not worth it" when my lad perceives some sort of injustice and wants to right it. I notice how the kids mind finds that very hard to accept.

Essentially, unfairness or inconsistencies or whatever is part of life. But it's dangerous to have the maxim "oh well, life is unfair" because we have to seek fairness and consistency otherwise we basically end up conceding any rights or hope for any measure of justice.

Sorry, that got a bit pompous.
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It’s absolutely not about writing everything off as ‘sometimes life isn’t fair’ it’s ironically by having the opposition attitude and fighting for every principle I believed in that I came to the conclusion that you have to strike a healthy balance. For the sake of your own sanity and everyone else’s!

It’s being assertive enough when needed, yet passive when it really doesn’t matter that much.
And ultimately not taking yourself or others too seriously.
That doesn’t mean not putting yourself on the line when it really matters, but also not holding on too long to anything if it’s unhealthy.

Sometimes too long can mean 5 minutes sometime a year or more. It depends on the situation and you have to judge yourself when it’s ruining your life and peace of mind.
It’s working for me at the moment and I really hope I stick with it.
Even on here I will now make my excuses to leave a debate if I think it’s proving pointless, stressful and a waste of time. But that’s my prerogative as it’s my life.
I didn’t always even get that obvious fact before and it was always to my own detriment.
We live, and hopefully we learn 👍
 
Wizaard said:
Did you get the lads to bring out the old scorebook and tick another one off?
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They were both out last night Wiz but when they get up later and check the old scoreboard they will no doubt go to the cabinet, unlock it, remove the Book and then the top off the ink pen and in the finest caligraphy write up the latest of the “Magnificent Centuries“, as they refer to them.

I imagine they will then want me as usual to talk them through the innings in detail as we share what we call our “Dad’s done it again” Breakfast
 
Bloodtangerine said:
They were both out last night Wiz but when they get up later and check the old scoreboard they will no doubt go to the cabinet, unlock it, remove the Book and then the top off the ink pen and in the finest caligraphy write up the latest of the “Magnificent Centuries“, as they refer to them.

I imagine they will then want me as usual to talk them through the innings in detail as we share what we call our “Dad’s done it again” Breakfast
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Sad thing is I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if this was true. It’s taken a while but you never lose it.
 
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