The prodigal children

Lala

Lala

Well-known member
Anyone else experiencing this ?

After a few years alone my youngest came back after a relationship split last year,
My eldest, who has a child, my granddaughter, obviously, is also coming back in September for a couple of years to save for a house deposit.
Is this a modern day trend ? I think it maybe.
Have you experienced it ? Did it work well ?
 
Lala said:
Anyone else experiencing this ?

After a few years alone my youngest came back after a relationship split last year,
My eldest, who has a child, my granddaughter, obviously, is also coming back in September for a couple of years to save for a house deposit.
Is this a modern day trend ? I think it maybe.
Have you experienced it ? Did it work well ?
Click to expand...
I'm not quite there.

But my eldest didn't leave to attend Uni; didn't fancy getting saddled with an additional £30k debt so has stayed at home.

TSSJr2 is currently assessing her options. Deep down she thinks she'll miss out of she doesn't go away (her geography is crap so I've heard Portsmouth and Glasgow and she's no idea where either are really!) but the realisation of cost is beginning to dawn on her.

I can see all my children still living with me until their mid-twenties, which is a change from when I was younger.
 
TSSeasider said:
I'm not quite there.

But my eldest didn't leave to attend Uni; didn't fancy getting saddled with an additional £30k debt so has stayed at home.

TSSJr2 is currently assessing her options. Deep down she thinks she'll miss out of she doesn't go away (her geography is crap so I've heard Portsmouth and Glasgow and she's no idea where either are really!) but the realisation of cost is beginning to dawn on her.

I can see all my children still living with me until their mid-twenties, which is a change from when I was younger.
Click to expand...
It’s a massive change from when we were younger isn’t it. I was a bit stressed when I realised I was going from 1 to 4 🫣 but I’ve got used to the idea now.
I just have to be in control and strong because I’m a bit of a pussy cat with my kids and need to stay in charge this time around !
It’s my house and I have a voice ! They are good kids though and I’ll re-adapt.
Think it’s time to get a dog though for excuses for little walks alone 🤣
 
Lala said:
Anyone else experiencing this ?

After a few years alone my youngest came back after a relationship split last year,
My eldest, who has a child, my granddaughter, obviously, is also coming back in September for a couple of years to save for a house deposit.
Is this a modern day trend ? I think it maybe.
Have you experienced it ? Did it work well ?
Click to expand...
Eldest left home to attend Italia Conte in London, came home for 2 years now renting in Lancaster doing an MA ... probably to return home again ... can’t get rid of youngest two 23 and 21. Love um really 🧡. Mind you, I’ve no room to speak... lived at home till 30 ... got married... kicked mum and dad out and moved across the landing to a bigger bedroom 🤣👍
 
Lala said:
It’s a massive change from when we were younger isn’t it. I was a bit stressed when I realised I was going from 1 to 4 🫣 but I’ve got used to the idea now.
I just have to be in control and strong because I’m a bit of a pussy cat with my kids and need to stay in charge this time around !
It’s my house and I have a voice ! They are good kids though and I’ll re-adapt.
Think it’s time to get a dog though for excuses for little walks alone 🤣
Click to expand...
The transition into adulthood feels a bit delayed.

Yes you're an adult, but you're still mostly reliant on your parents, live in our house etc.

Freedom/responsibility how you contribute, who is in charge, how to learn how to live without us etc.

Plus sibling relationships as they get older, pecking order etc.

Hopefully, we can manage it without any heartache.
 
Newholland said:
Eldest left home to attend Italia Conte in London, came home for 2 years now renting in Lancaster doing an MA ... probably to return home again ... can’t get rid of youngest two 23 and 21. Love um really 🧡. Mind you, I’ve no room to speak... lived at home till 30 ... got married... kicked mum and dad out and moved across the landing to a bigger bedroom 🤣👍
Click to expand...
I am not giving up my bedroom, which is the biggest !!
I contemplated it but tbought they will be with me forever if I make it too easy ! They maybe with me forever anyway which is why I need to be a tough act and not make it so easy !

I left home at 19 and didn’t go back, but I’m a stubborn b*gger and like my own space and my own rules.
 
Lala said:
I am not giving up my bedroom, which is the biggest !!
I contemplated it but tbought they will be with me forever if I make it too easy ! They maybe with me forever anyway which is why I need to be a tough act and not make it so easy !

I left home at 19 and didn’t go back, but I’m a stubborn b*gger and like my own space and my own rules.
Click to expand...
FWIW; I'd be most concerned about being seen as the easy option for looking after your grandchild.

I think that's where I'd be drawing the line; especially as we rarely had anyone to look after them as children!!

Edited to add: MrsTSS might have a different view and that would be the one adopted 🤣
 
TSSeasider said:
FWIW; I'd be most concerned about being seen as the easy option for looking after your grandchild.

I think that's where I'd be drawing the line; especially as we rarely had anyone to look after them as children!!

Edited to add: MrsTSS might have a different view and that would be the one adopted 🤣
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Yes, I had no-one to look after my kids ever 🫤

My granddaughter is ten now and quite self sufficient with regards to occupying and entertaining herself. So I dont mind babysitting fairly often.

I will draw the line at being responsible for getting her to school etc and disciplining her though. That is my daughters job and I’ve made that clear. And ane understands 😏
I have found my voice a bit with this already because I realised that if I don’t start out with rules I will soon hit chaos and all that that brings.
I’m not up for chaos these days .
 
It’s difficult.

Casting my mind back to the dim and distant past I moved back home after Poly and College when I got a job in Blackpool that paid the princely sum of £40 pw. I must’ve been about 22 or 23. It was difficult after having had independence but (apart from the occasional episode of shouting down the toilet after a night out) I behaved myself and mum and dad were tolerant.

Met the future Mrs Mex. Refused to take the hint when she moved to Essex and followed her there and that was it. Married just after my 25th birthday and then house, mortgage and 3 kids under 5 by 32.

They all went to Uni. Went and returned and while they were very welcome they had seen the world and were a bit embarrassed to be living with mum and dad again. They’re all now in their 30s and independent but living close and with two grandkids.

Basically it’s all about family and enjoying your time together while accepting you’re all independent adults.

Today my mother in law met her great granddaughter for the first time. So wheelchair versus pushchair. Which is the more difficult to manoeuvre around the tables in Costa?

Enjoy your time together. Make allowances when they get on your nerves (and hopefully vice versa) and accept this is what life’s really all about.
 
Mexboroseasider said:
It’s difficult.

Casting my mind back to the dim and distant past I moved back home after Poly and College when I got a job in Blackpool that paid the princely sum of £40 pw. I must’ve been about 22 or 23. It was difficult after having had independence but (apart from the occasional episode of shouting down the toilet after a night out) I behaved myself and mum and dad were tolerant.

Met the future Mrs Mex. Refused to take the hint when she moved to Essex and followed her there and that was it. Married just after my 25th birthday and then house, mortgage and 3 kids under 5 by 32.

They all went to Uni. Went and returned and while they were very welcome they had seen the world and were a bit embarrassed to be living with mum and dad again. They’re all now in their 30s and independent but living close and with two grandkids.

Basically it’s all about family and enjoying your time together while accepting you’re all independent adults.

Today my mother in law met her great granddaughter for the first time. So wheelchair versus pushchair. Which is the more difficult to manoeuvre around the tables in Costa?

Enjoy your time together. Make allowances when they get on your nerves (and hopefully vice versa) and accept this is what life’s really all about.
Click to expand...
Yes, agree Mex, it’s about tolerance, enjoying the time we spend together and mutual respect.

I’m flattered they want to live with me again, and they’ve both made it clear they dont want to cause me any stress.

They’ve been good, understanding and supportive girls when I’ve not been myself. They’ve always had my back, and I will always have theirs ❤️
Apologies, offloading again, but it helps 🥰
 
Lala said:
Yes, agree Mex, it’s about tolerance, enjoying the time we spend together and mutual respect.

I’m flattered they want to live with me again, and they’ve both made it clear they dont want to cause me any stress.

They’ve been good, understanding and supportive girls when I’ve not been myself. They’ve always had my back, and I will always have theirs ❤️
Apologies, offloading again, but it helps 🥰
Click to expand...
That’s ok.

The funny thing was when I retired we thought we might have a bit of “us” time.

But then we found we were under pressure from both directions - grandkids arrive and then remaining parent needs help. Not complaining especially. We’ve got both grandkids all day/night tomorrow and I can’t wait.

I suppose it’s just that you persuade yourself life will really start some day in the future (when I retire etc). And then you realise - nope - this is it. This is life right now. This very moment. So make the most of it.
 
Mexboroseasider said:
That’s ok.

The funny thing was when I retired we thought we might have a bit of “us” time.

But then we found we were under pressure from both directions - grandkids arrive and then remaining parent needs help. Not complaining especially. We’ve got both grandkids all day/night tomorrow and I can’t wait.

I suppose it’s just that you persuade yourself life will really start some day in the future (when I retire etc). And then you realise - nope - this is it. This is life right now. This very moment. So make the most of it.
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Totally agree with that. I think I was settling into finding ‘me’ for my final trimester.

But that probably won’t happen as smoothly as I envisaged and I’m adjusting back again now.

You are correct, this is life right now and giving is always part of the equation, especially when you have kids. It doesn’t end, but we are blessed to have them.
Thanks Mex ❤️
 
todayistheday said:
I think a partner would be better than a dog and you could still go for walks and lots more.
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I don’t do partners, a personal choice that some don't believe I could possibly be happy with. But I am. And don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!
I’m happy enough alone to not risk another bad relationship. A dog all the way 😍
 
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Thankfully not, as Maxnix is due to marry in September and I’m looking forward to some grandchildren!!

My youngest still lives at home and I’m not ready to relinquish him just yet..he makes me laugh far too much and I enjoy his company and take on life…
 
Our 2 girls have cost us an absolute fortune, but that's the price we chose to pay for keeping them independent & not under our roof.
One Seasider is married with our 5 year old Seasider grandson - who we care dearly for.
The other Seasider daughter got married to a knob head, the wedding & later honeymoon in the sun cost us a small fortune, 2 years later they separated and after the mandatory 2 years (at that time) they divorced. She now has another partner (who is a good guy) but she will never marry again.
If they moved back home, I think their mum & them would be fine, but Seasiders or not .... we'd throttle each other 🤣
 
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