'Prime Minister, we've just looked at the polls and Marcus Rashford is 42 times more popular than you right now'
'Balderdash, bunkum, I'm the most beloved Prime Minister in history, the public adore me, who is this Mark Bashful?'
'Marcus Rashford sir, the footballer'
'Ah yes, he missed the penalty conversion, how can I be less popular than him, the little piccaninny?'
'He's 6 feet 2 Prime Minister, you're 5 foot 6'
'Five feet 7 and as I was saying to Lidders at the club, it's not the length, it's the girth, what what!'
'Erm, anyway Prime Minister, about Marcus Rashford'
'The footballist?'
'Yes, we need to come up with some policies that will help the demographic he appeals to'
'Policies?'
'Yes Prime Minister, those things Marcus Rashford made you do, in his spare time, at 23, away from his massively pressured high profile job'
'Nonsense, we don't need policies, I'll tell everyone to fly the Union Jack in interviews and repeat 'BUILDING BACK BETTER!'
'And what about Rashford Prime Minister?'
'I'll make a few phone calls, we'll make up a story about him stealing money or something and within days I'll be Churchillian, Shakespearean in my popularity and he'll be back to knowing his place!'
'Ah yes Prime Minister, about Shakespeare, the publishers have been on again....'