Frday Jokes.

1

1950`spoolfan

Well-known member
Two women had a girls night out and on the way home they both needed a pee.As they were passing a churchyard they nipped in for a bit of privacy. Neither had any loo roll so the first one used her pants and threw them away.The second after looking round could only find a small wreath so she decided to use that.

Next day their two husbands met up and the husband of the first woman said he wasn`t at all happy with these girls nights out as his wife had come home with no pants.The husband of the second woman said "you think you`ve got problems .My wife came home feeling a bit fruity but soon after we got started a card dropped out from between her buttocks which read "we`re all very sad and will miss you," signed by all the firemen at the fire station."
 
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Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not become ill?
Jerry can.
 
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My wife said to me: “can you get me the two pieces of beef out from the top of the fridge?” I said “No” She asked again “can you get me the two pieces of beef out from the top of the fridge, please?” I said “No, I can’t “ She said “Why?” I said “The steaks are too high!”
 
I was born a male, I identify as a male, but according to the wrapper on a Tesco's sticky toffee pudding, I'm a family of 6
 
Thanks for the likes from DP and CC but I must confess that I`m slightly disappointed though at the minimal response as I only put it on because I thought it was the funniest joke I`d heard for a while,

Ah well I guess we all have different senses of humour.
 
1950`spoolfan said:
Thanks for the likes from DP and CC but I must confess that I`m slightly disappointed though at the minimal response as I only put it on because I thought it was the funniest joke I`d heard for a while,

Ah well I guess we all have different senses of humour.
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It was funny, but it was put on here last week, 😬 😂
 
The funniest thing I've heard this week is the true story of the young guy who was invited for an early covid jab because of his morbid obesity. His body mass index was recorded as 40,000 - the highest ever recorded..

The NHS computer had identified him as at risk when it compared his height to his weight. His height was recorded as 6.2 centimetres instead of 6.2 feet! 😄 😂
 
Bloke posts message on avftt, says 'look I'M OFF down the pub, it's Friday and I don't care what you do'.

Reply comes, 'there's no 'I' in Friday'.
 
1950`spoolfan said:
Thanks for the likes from DP and CC but I must confess that I`m slightly disappointed though at the minimal response as I only put it on because I thought it was the funniest joke I`d heard for a while,

Ah well I guess we all have different senses of humour.
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And it's been doing the Whatsapp rounds from the radio station that broadcast it since Christmas. But it is a "cracker".
 
1950`spoolfan said:
Thanks for the likes from DP and CC but I must confess that I`m slightly disappointed though at the minimal response as I only put it on because I thought it was the funniest joke I`d heard for a while,

Ah well I guess we all have different senses of humour.
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I would imagine most folk on here would have heard that joke many many years ago from the likes of Frank Carson.

Maybe it was the way YOU told it 😁
 
I have seen Frank Carson 3 times live, once in a theatre and twice at our sales conferences but I`m afraid I`ve never heard this joke before. It`s a salutary lesson.I will in future leave joke Friday to those better qualified and not so dated.
 
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