Friday Joke Day….
- Thread starter 911_Kirky
- Start date
B_Side_The_C_Side
Well-known member
Little Johnny walks into his mum & dad's bedroom and catches his dad sliding on a condom.
His dad tries to hide it by bending over, as starts to look under the bed.
Little Johnny says, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His Dad quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- fuck him?"
His dad tries to hide it by bending over, as starts to look under the bed.
Little Johnny says, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His Dad quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- fuck him?"
Momentum hold a public meeting in North London.First speaker up says" Have we got any Jeremy Corblimey fans here tonight". All bar one man puts their hands up. Speaker asks the man" Why don' t you like Jeremy?". Man says" Both my parents are Tories so like them I vote Conservative. Speaker " If both your parents were morons what would that make you?" Man " A Jeremy Corblimey fan."
Sooty59
Well-known member
A friend of mine who’s wife has been in a coma for 2 months went to one of those alternative medicine doctors. He told him that in the past with many coma cases that oral sex has worked, he wasn’t sure how but said most patients had woken up.
2 weeks later the doctor asked him how it had gone? He said she hadn’t woken up but started choking.
2 weeks later the doctor asked him how it had gone? He said she hadn’t woken up but started choking.
Sooty59
Well-known member
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at 10 Downing Street. One is from up North another is from Poland, and the third is a Tory Party Donor. All three go with a Tory Party official to examine the fence.Momentum hold a public meeting in North London.First speaker up says" Have we got any Jeremy Corblimey fans here tonight". All bar one man puts their hands up. Speaker asks the man" Why don' t you like Jeremy?". Man says" Both my parents are Tories so like them I vote Conservative. Speaker " If both your parents were morons what would that make you?" Man " A Jeremy Corblimey fan."
The contractor from up north takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about £9000. £4000 for materials, £4000 for my crew, and £1000 profit for me."
The Polish contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for £7000. £3000 for materials, £3000 for my crew, and £1000 profit for me."
The Tory party donor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Tory Party official and whispers, "£27,000."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Tory Donor whispers back, "£10,000 for me, £10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Poland to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the Tory party official.
And that, my friends, is how the Tory Party works these days.
rememberlesshannon
Well-known member
My uncle who is lion tamer went bankrupt, they took almost everything off him....but at least he still has his pride.
Satriale's Pork Store
Well-known member
My uncle represented GB at swimming in the last paralympics...
He has no torso or limbs; lovely fella 'Bob'
He would have won a medal too if he hadn't got cramp in his ears!
He has no torso or limbs; lovely fella 'Bob'
He would have won a medal too if he hadn't got cramp in his ears!