Missing our Friday jokes

[Walnut]

So asked Alexa and got…

Liam Gallagher walks into a restaurant and orders the soup.
The waiter says ‘do you wanna roll with it’.

Well it made me smile

 

[Coinslot]

Here you go then, my favourite ever.

Did you hear about the autistic fella who sat on a barbecue?

He ended up with ass burgers.

 

[7YearCritch]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints!

 

[FlytoKavala]

Should be one big factory that makes all the perfumes in the world.
You know it makes scents.

Just read a book about a detective that solves crimes purely by chance, Sheerluck Holmes.

 

[Sooty59]

Bloody puppys at the vets. Swallowed a whole box of scrabble letters at 5 o’clock. Still no word

 

[TANGERINETOWERPOWER]

What's brown and seeps through the ceiling?





The Diarrhoea of Anne Frank.

 

[premactopool]

Bloody puppys at the vets. Swallowed a whole box of scrabble letters at 5 o’clock. Still no word

His next poo could spell trouble

 

[FlytoKavala]

Bloody puppys at the vets. Swallowed a whole box of scrabble letters at 5 o’clock. Still no word

Letters know how he gets on.

 

[Grumpy_no_more]

Secretary: “Doctor, there’s a patient on the phone who says he’s invisible.”

Doctor: “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’m going to die in 59 seconds!”

Doctor: “Hang on, I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

[Wizaard]

I tried to start a drone business but couldn't get it off the ground.