Adult child coming back home

Lala

Lala

Well-known member
From September it looks like I have an adult child (27) and grandchild coming home to live with me.
Lack of available rental properties and rental prices have brought this on.
I’m good with it, she could save 10k in 12 months by no longer paying rent and saving on bills. And I love my girls more than life itself, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times 😉
Any tips from those who have had a boomerang child coming back home ?
 
Lala said:
From September it looks like I have an adult child (27) and grandchild coming home to live with me.
Lack of available rental properties and rental prices have brought this on.
I’m good with it, she could save 10k in 12 months by no longer paying rent and saving on bills. And I love my girls more than life itself, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times 😉
Any tips from those who have had a boomerang child coming back home ?
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Make sure you charge her decent rent
 
Just love her, look after her, life is precious, like you will, embrace the time you have together, make her toast in the mornings, make her a cup of tea at night, just do everything, in that time which you spoil her she will get the funds to start a new life, enjoy the the time, when it’s gone, it’s gone☺️
 
Miko said:
Charge her rent but with a view to giving it her when needed as a deposit. That way you know it's safe and won't be spent unnecessarily plus it keeps up the habit of her parting with money for paying her way.
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That’s exactly the plan 👍
She has to put her normal rent amount into a savings account each month and if she doesn't I’ll be taking that amount of her each month to save on her behalf 👍
Good advice .
 
Oneofthebigboys said:
Just love her, look after her, life is precious, like you will, embrace the time you have together, make her toast in the mornings, make her a cup of tea at night, just do everything, in that time which you spoil her she will get the funds to start a new life, enjoy the the time, when it’s gone, it’s gone☺️
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Im also hoping for the odd breakfast in bed myself 😂
 
Lala said:
From September it looks like I have an adult child (27) and grandchild coming home to live with me.
Lack of available rental properties and rental prices have brought this on.
I’m good with it, she could save 10k in 12 months by no longer paying rent and saving on bills. And I love my girls more than life itself, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times 😉
Any tips from those who have had a boomerang child coming back home ?
Click to expand...
Bless your generous heart Lala - but! Put your feet in her shoes and imagine how she feels about putting herself on you, not easy to admit you can’t provide as much as you want to for yourself and dependent as much as you want to.

Thank goodness she has a great Mum though to help out, hope it all works out for you all.
 
They’ll be times when you wonder why you agreed to it.

well done though - gotta save the rent no matter what excuse she comes up with for not paying it.

👍
 
Post uni we've done it already with 1 of our 3. He's recently moved out after saving enough for a deposit.

Middle one just finished uni and so it starts again. His better half has moved in with us as well.

We do charge £50 a week rent.
 
I was certainly a boomerang young adult Lala.
I had a few send offs only to return to the homestead. It's a bit of a balancing act not returning to doing everything for them. That said I think overall girls are a bit more independent.
I suppose I wanted it all ways up. Nice to get my washing done again but "what time will you be back for tea" used to grate.
 
Lala said:
Nope, not charging her. The aim is for her to get on the property ladder with a decent deposit saved in 12 to 18 months or so.
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Could you not charge her rent and then put it aside without telling her?
Temptation for living with parents rent free is use that extra money saved from rent to buy things not save it up - you end up financially worse off.
Will be lovely to have her back I’m sure.
 
Make sure she pulls her weight and doesn't leave all the cooking and housework to you. There will be times when, after your freedom, you will feel trapped, and maybe a little angry at the daughter or grandchild, just turn away go and lock yourself in the bathroom and silently scream. then come back downstairs with your usual smile.
 
Just helped my step-daughter onto the property ladder which gave me immense personal satisfaction. She is a single parent with four beautiful kids and to see them happy and settled is very rewarding ( plus they were living with my wife and I for 9 months previously! ) . Good for you Lala.
 
Tel
Lala said:
From September it looks like I have an adult child (27) and grandchild coming home to live with me.
Lack of available rental properties and rental prices have brought this on.
I’m good with it, she could save 10k in 12 months by no longer paying rent and saving on bills. And I love my girls more than life itself, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times 😉
Any tips from those who have had a boomerang child coming back home ?
Click to expand...
Tell her under no circumstances are any blokes are allowed in the house, and if she's living rent free the money saved must be banked (by you) ready for when she gets her own place and not wasted on clothes, clubbing etc.

Oh and household chores like ironing, hoovering and cleaning are on her too. 😉
 
Important to keep your own space as well, agree who does what with some basic jobs. Don't revert to "Mum" doing everything, you will come to resent it.

Great of you to do this, get to see more of your lovely little granddaughter, too, and built in babysitting for your lass. You're a good 'un.
 
We've assisted both our son and our divorced daughter, with two kids, to buy their own homes, neither have mortgages now. It's what parents should do. We were certainly helped by our parents.
 
26 yo son, 25 yo daughter and son in law, 8 yo g/daughter and 2 yo g/son live with me. Always have, though daughter’s new house only about 2 months away from renovation finishing.
We have a food kitty split 4 ways, and split the gas and leccy equally. I pay for everything I would do if on my own.
We all work different shifts, so we get plenty of time for peace and quiet, but I suppose most would think it’s a very busy house!
I love it, brought the kids up on my own, and see the house as belonging to all of us - I’d be happy if they stayed forever.
I’m really going to miss daughters lot when they go, son will probably be here forever until he finally settles down.
 
Great
Johnno said:
26 yo son, 25 yo daughter and son in law, 8 yo g/daughter and 2 yo g/son live with me. Always have, though daughter’s new house only about 2 months away from renovation finishing.
We have a food kitty split 4 ways, and split the gas and leccy equally. I pay for everything I would do if on my own.
We all work different shifts, so we get plenty of time for peace and quiet, but I suppose most would think it’s a very busy house!
I love it, brought the kids up on my own, and see the house as belonging to all of us - I’d be happy if they stayed forever.
I’m really going to miss daughters lot when they go, son will probably be here forever until he finally settles down.
Click to expand...
Great
 
Lala said:
From September it looks like I have an adult child (27) and grandchild coming home to live with me.
Lack of available rental properties and rental prices have brought this on.
I’m good with it, she could save 10k in 12 months by no longer paying rent and saving on bills. And I love my girls more than life itself, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times 😉
Any tips from those who have had a boomerang child coming back home ?
Click to expand...
Make sure you get to read the newspaper first.
Place the washing-up liquid bottle on the draining board.
Leave ‘post-its’ on the milk bottle.
Etc.
 
Lala said:
From September it looks like I have an adult child (27) and grandchild coming home to live with me.
Lack of available rental properties and rental prices have brought this on.
I’m good with it, she could save 10k in 12 months by no longer paying rent and saving on bills. And I love my girls more than life itself, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times 😉
Any tips from those who have had a boomerang child coming back home ?
Click to expand...
My eldest is in the RAF (23 in September) he probably comes home 6/7 times per year, as he has a girlfriend who’s at Reading uni. When he comes home, we just ask him to bring a bottle of wine or some beers and we’ll sort the food etc, and just to keep the place tidy. My youngest lad is 20, still lives at home with his girlfriend (who works for us and was a convenient arrangement due to lockdown) they are saving for a house, we charge them nothing, but again ask them to keep things clean and tidy - they also cook twice per week and breakfast on a Sunday. Works well and enables them to save 👍
 
There will come a point where my son will be in the same position does he come back and stay with us as he can't save because of rent payments or do I remortgage and buy him the house and he pays the bills.
Tough one because last thing I wanted coming into my 50's was debt.
 
Thanks for advice and comments guys.
We have talked about the downsides of her losing what feels like her independence. But we are spinning it like she has a golden ticket opportunity to save some decent money that otherwise she won’t get. She’s a single parent, working full-time and with renting it’s virtually impossibly for her to save any real money.
We get on really well as adults, not just mum and daughter, and we are both quite independent people. She knows I need my own space at times, and so does she and we’ve had that conversation.
There will absolutely be no fellas coming back here !!!! You are the only guys allowed in my life, albeit virtually 👌
My golden ticket is seeing even more or her and my lovely granddaughter and then seeing my daughter get established on the property ladder finally.
We have similar temperaments, which are actually quite calm believe it or not 😆
I’m not envisaging many problems but am realistic to the possibility of the odd ‘discussion’ here and there !
After assessing the initial impact I’m excited now. Am getting a car again and will be taking my granddaughter to school most mornings, which at aged 9 there won’t be many years left to do 🥴
My granddaughter is the one to watch as she walks all over me now, but only because I let her 😉
Sounds like you’re all excellent parents to me ❤️
And thanks again.
 
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Saw on instagram that the property developer advice companies are pushing Blackpool at the moment- 80k houses in Layton, aiming for 550ish rent. It’s an ‘up coming’ area, apparently.
 
Seaside Aggro said:
Saw on instagram that the property developer advice companies are pushing Blackpool at the moment- 80k houses in Layton, aiming for 550ish rent. It’s an ‘up coming’ area, apparently.
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It’s virtually impossibly for her to get anything under 650 for the 2 of them now, That’s even for a 2 bed only in Thornton!
It’s a lot of money coming straight out of her wage and with bills on top etc. Property rental prices have gone absolutely mad and there are 15 viewers to each property signed up within the first minute of the ads coming out.
Anyway, we have our resolution now, so that’s good 👍
 
Nice one Lala. After a few years of reading about your daughters I'm sure she will always be grateful for the help your giving to her,
Enjoy it whilst you can. I haven't seen my daughter in a long time because of Covid.
However, get plenty of photos of Grand sons & Great Grand sons (11 y.o. & 1 yr 5 months.) Hope to see them all soon.
 
Davepick said:
Nice one Lala. After a few years of reading about your daughters I'm sure she will always be grateful for the help your giving to her,
Enjoy it whilst you can. I haven't seen my daughter in a long time because of Covid.
However, get plenty of photos of Grand sons & Great Grand sons (11 y.o. & 1 yr 5 months.) Hope to see them all soon.
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You will see them all soon Dave I’m sure 🥰
 
LaLa, MrsDP got a photo this a.m. of the 11 y.o. in his football kit (Green 🙄 ) got a captains armband on.
Think it's a Foxhall team?
 
I think this is a massive social issue. When I worked in stoke, it was *the place* to buy cheap rentals as you could pick up a terraced house for about 20-30k.

It pushes up prices and makes life much harder for people who just want to buy/rent a house.

It's insane, how much property costs in the country. People in their mid 20s who are working shouldn't need to give every scrap of their income to rent and deposits.

We bought at the absolute bottom end of the market and even so, we had to raise 11 grand for a deposit. That's *a lot* of money.

Round me, houses are snapped up by developers and turned into student houses quicker than anyone can buy them locally. Stuff can be on the market for a matter of hours.

It's not right. It happens everywhere. My sister lives in the sticks in Scotland and second home owners snap up stuff and then barely use them. Got a mate, born and bred in rural northumbria who knows he will *never* own a home as it's all holiday cottages and second homes. People in London etc, see the north as an opportunity to 'broaden their property portfolio' so often the money isn't even coming back into the local economy. In turn, loads of property in London is owned by global finance and just doing nothing as it's all about land value.

It's also down to the fact that the decimation of the social housing stock plays right into the hands of the rental owner. People *need* a roof so they'll pay over the odds, accept absurd charges and so on.

I get fed up when genuine social issues like this are just accepted as 'the way it is' and people seem more concerned about who presents Soccer Saturday.

None of which detracts from Lala's helping of her kiddo and grandkiddo which is quality stuff.
 
You never really get rid of the kids LaLa and why should you. Give her some house rules, celebrate her return and give thanks for having your grandchild there to spoil.

Daughter Wanting To Hug Emoticons
 
As already posted in this thread, it's perhaps more difficult for your daughter than for you, moving back in after having her autonomy / independence whilst being in her own place. You seem very close, so as long as you give each other "space" it will be a very pleasant time for all 3 of you I'm sure. When my lad lost his house purchase after being made redundant (due to Covid) he stayed with us, but he's dying to get his own place. It's the opposite for him, he saved up a decent deposit when he had 2 jobs, he just needs a FT job now to get a mortgage. I had no idea that renting was so expensive until reading this, so I'll let him know. 👍
 
Get her to open a Lifetime ISA. She can put up to £4k into it each tax year and the Government gives 25% on everything saved. The interest is paid about 6 weeks after the deposit. Only drawback is you have to use it to buy a house otherwise you forfeit the interest, but if that's what she is saving for its a no brainer.
 
Miko said:
Charge her rent but with a view to giving it her when needed as a deposit. That way you know it's safe and won't be spent unnecessarily plus it keeps up the habit of her parting with money for paying her way.
Click to expand...
Good advice Milo. Too many get an easy, no rent ride and the concept of saving, budgeting etc remains completely alien to them and parents end up bailing them out for ever.
Not saying that will be the case here but rent and return is a great policy
 
WalkersHeader said:
Get her to open a Lifetime ISA. She can put up to £4k into it each tax year and the Government gives 25% on everything saved. The interest is paid about 6 weeks after the deposit. Only drawback is you have to use it to buy a house otherwise you forfeit the interest, but if that's what she is saving for its a no brainer.
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That’s good advice , thank you 👍
 
Johnno said:
26 yo son, 25 yo daughter and son in law, 8 yo g/daughter and 2 yo g/son live with me. Always have, though daughter’s new house only about 2 months away from renovation finishing.
We have a food kitty split 4 ways, and split the gas and leccy equally. I pay for everything I would do if on my own.
We all work different shifts, so we get plenty of time for peace and quiet, but I suppose most would think it’s a very busy house!
I love it, brought the kids up on my own, and see the house as belonging to all of us - I’d be happy if they stayed forever.
I’m really going to miss daughters lot when they go, son will probably be here forever until he finally settles down.
Click to expand...
That's really impressive.

Well done 👍
 
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