M
Malced
Guest
Watch this new Bond movie? I’d rather slash my wrists.
Well not literally, but that pretty much sums up how I feel about the prospect of yet another Bond movie.
The ‘slash my wrists’ is a Daniel Craig quote when asked a few years ago if he intended to ever play Bond again. He said he’d rather slash his wrists, and that if he ever did return it would only be for the money.
And yet here he is again. Such inspiration to know the main actor was dead against ever starring in another Bond movie and that he has succumbed to greed. I’m sure he needed the money - and self-worth and principles are not important.
With regards to this much delayed film, I’ve read at each delay, the disappointment of fans who couldn’t wait to see the movie. I’m not sure why they couldn’t wait to see another overly commercialised formulaic tedious plot-less wanton display of this ridiculous zero-intellect dross.
Maybe they couldn’t wait for yet another huge opening scene where the audience sits agape, popcorn chested, wondering how James is going to emerge from this multi-faceted attack on his life, defying all odds to walk away with not even the merest mark on his shirt, and his tie not even displaced by one millimetre.
I’m sorry but I can’t stand to even watch some unbelievable screen romance between ‘James’ and a girl young enough to be his daughter if not grand-daughter. She’ll swoon and melt in his arms saying ‘Oh James, oh James, is our age-inappropriate relationship doomed to fail in this new politically correct world, or will the woke allow our love to blossom?’
So we’ll have the pathetic opening scene where most of the budget is burnt. Then we’ll have the inappropriate love interest. Then we’ll be introduced to the latest gadgets which James will be issued with and will later be seen in use as a primary way to take down the henchman. Thing is, the movie was made a few years ago and had been delayed due to the pandemic (or more accurately delayed due to the bean counters wanting to ensure sufficient number of dullards are able to attend the cinema. Well we know it’s all about the money as Daniel has made clear.)
So the technological gadgets are actually old fashioned believe it or not. (The pace of technology advancements is rapid as we know and it’s at least 2-3 years that’s elapsed since this film was made.) For example, I hear James is issued with a Sony Walkman cassette player, and a car where a buzzer sounds if the driver hasn’t put on their seatbelt. He’s also issued a George Foreman grill which has a timer on it. But it’s not a grill it’s a bomb that James will plant so he can blow up the henchman’s island (once their pussy-cats have been taken out of harms way of course - wouldn’t want to upset the cat lovers).
And that is key to the final scene where the timer is actually set and is ticking down. We were still trying to get out of the EU when the movie was made. So the final scene is actually James arming the George Foreman grill bomb at the residence of the henchman Michelle Barnier. In a life or death struggle between Michelle and James the grill timer is ticking down and James knows he needs to get out of there before he is blown up. Thankfully he observes that the timer is faulty because amidst the life/death struggle with Barnier, he looks at the timer every 30 seconds or so, and realises the timer has only gone down by about 5 seconds. It’s like the fight is in some parallel time zone where time is in suspended animation.
Anyway, to our huge relief, James finally tears himself away from Barnier and his EU army foot soldiers. Barnier’s final and fateful words are heard just before his island is blown sky high. His final words were tragic and yet so accurate and poignant………. ‘The clock is ticking’.
So there you are. No need to bother going to this dross. My post is not so much a plot-spoiler as a plot reminder if one was needed. A reminder that there is no plot. Yet rather there’s the same old same old formulaic dross churned out for the mass brain dead to lap up to fill the coffers of this franchise and all it’s millionaires. I’d rather slit my wrists.
Well not literally, but that pretty much sums up how I feel about the prospect of yet another Bond movie.
The ‘slash my wrists’ is a Daniel Craig quote when asked a few years ago if he intended to ever play Bond again. He said he’d rather slash his wrists, and that if he ever did return it would only be for the money.
And yet here he is again. Such inspiration to know the main actor was dead against ever starring in another Bond movie and that he has succumbed to greed. I’m sure he needed the money - and self-worth and principles are not important.
With regards to this much delayed film, I’ve read at each delay, the disappointment of fans who couldn’t wait to see the movie. I’m not sure why they couldn’t wait to see another overly commercialised formulaic tedious plot-less wanton display of this ridiculous zero-intellect dross.
Maybe they couldn’t wait for yet another huge opening scene where the audience sits agape, popcorn chested, wondering how James is going to emerge from this multi-faceted attack on his life, defying all odds to walk away with not even the merest mark on his shirt, and his tie not even displaced by one millimetre.
I’m sorry but I can’t stand to even watch some unbelievable screen romance between ‘James’ and a girl young enough to be his daughter if not grand-daughter. She’ll swoon and melt in his arms saying ‘Oh James, oh James, is our age-inappropriate relationship doomed to fail in this new politically correct world, or will the woke allow our love to blossom?’
So we’ll have the pathetic opening scene where most of the budget is burnt. Then we’ll have the inappropriate love interest. Then we’ll be introduced to the latest gadgets which James will be issued with and will later be seen in use as a primary way to take down the henchman. Thing is, the movie was made a few years ago and had been delayed due to the pandemic (or more accurately delayed due to the bean counters wanting to ensure sufficient number of dullards are able to attend the cinema. Well we know it’s all about the money as Daniel has made clear.)
So the technological gadgets are actually old fashioned believe it or not. (The pace of technology advancements is rapid as we know and it’s at least 2-3 years that’s elapsed since this film was made.) For example, I hear James is issued with a Sony Walkman cassette player, and a car where a buzzer sounds if the driver hasn’t put on their seatbelt. He’s also issued a George Foreman grill which has a timer on it. But it’s not a grill it’s a bomb that James will plant so he can blow up the henchman’s island (once their pussy-cats have been taken out of harms way of course - wouldn’t want to upset the cat lovers).
And that is key to the final scene where the timer is actually set and is ticking down. We were still trying to get out of the EU when the movie was made. So the final scene is actually James arming the George Foreman grill bomb at the residence of the henchman Michelle Barnier. In a life or death struggle between Michelle and James the grill timer is ticking down and James knows he needs to get out of there before he is blown up. Thankfully he observes that the timer is faulty because amidst the life/death struggle with Barnier, he looks at the timer every 30 seconds or so, and realises the timer has only gone down by about 5 seconds. It’s like the fight is in some parallel time zone where time is in suspended animation.
Anyway, to our huge relief, James finally tears himself away from Barnier and his EU army foot soldiers. Barnier’s final and fateful words are heard just before his island is blown sky high. His final words were tragic and yet so accurate and poignant………. ‘The clock is ticking’.
So there you are. No need to bother going to this dross. My post is not so much a plot-spoiler as a plot reminder if one was needed. A reminder that there is no plot. Yet rather there’s the same old same old formulaic dross churned out for the mass brain dead to lap up to fill the coffers of this franchise and all it’s millionaires. I’d rather slit my wrists.
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