Friday Jokes (well someone has to start it).

[Curryman]

I've done all sorts in my life and once tried writing a Pantomime.

Fortunately, it's all behind me now.

 

[Curryman]

Journalists and medics are becoming worried as a new strain of COVID has been discovered in Wales.

The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch strain has an extra symptom of knotting tongues.

 

[FlytoKavala]

Guy says to his mate
"I really struggled to finish the crossword last night"
"What were you stuck on"
"A four letter word that relates to a woman and ends UNT."
"Aunt"
"Thanks,have you got a rubber"

 

[Wizaard]

I once met Neil Armstrong.

He was surprisingly down to earth.

 

[SEASIDE2020]

I've done all sorts in my life and once tried writing a Pantomime.

Fortunately, it's all behind me now.

Oh no it isn't.

Sorry, I'll get my coat.

 

[Goldfinger]

I've spent a week alone trying to learn escapology............
I need to get out more.

 

[FlytoKavala]

I was reading a book about camouflage and i put it down and now i can't find it.

 

[southshore]

Christ, bring back GJJW!

 

[ElBurroSinNombre]

Was in bed with my 65 year old girlfriend the other day who is not very well.
She said 'the doctor says I've got acute angina'
I replied, 'your tits aren't bad either!'

I'll get my coat

 

[Grumpy_no_more]

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.


Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.


You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

 

[FlytoKavala]

I'm taking care of my procrastination issues, just wait and see.

 

[Farm1924x]

Two nuns were out walking one evening when they encountered a flasher! One of them had a stroke but the other one couldn’t reach

 

[TANGERINETOWERPOWER]

Imagine The Titanic with a lisp. It's unthinkable.

 

[TANGERINETOWERPOWER]

I was at a job interview today, and towards the end of it, the interviewer asked me, "Have you any weaknesses?"

I said, "I always let myself down at interviews."

He said, "I think you are doing OK."

I said, "Yeah you would you stupid **!"

 

[Wizaard]

I was at a job interview today, and towards the end of it, the interviewer asked me, "Have you any weaknesses?"

I said, "I always let myself down at interviews."

He said, "I think you are doing OK."

I said, "Yeah you would you stupid **!"

I'm interviewing on Tuesday. I'll be thinking this all the way through...

 

[rememberlesshannon]

I was going to tell you the joke about time travelling....but you didn't like it.

 

[premierdream2010]

I was going to tell you the joke about time travelling....but you didn't like it.

I've done all sorts in my life and once tried writing a Pantomime.

Fortunately, it's all behind me now.

Two nuns were out walking one evening when they encountered a flasher! One of them had a stroke but the other one couldn’t reach

2 lady teachers were walking across the school yard. One said to the other “do you like Dickens ? and the other one said I’ve never been to one.

 

[Wetheproletariat]

I was reading a book about camouflage and i put it down and now i can't find it.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, I can’t seem to put it down.

 

[Atletico_Seasider]

A man goes to see the psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, sometimes I think I'm a teepee. Then, I think I'm a wigwam!"
The psychiatrist says, "I see your problem. I believe you're two tents."

 

[mull]

I've done all sorts in my life and once tried writing a Pantomime.

Fortunately, it's all behind me now.

OH NO ITS NOT( Someone had to tell him)... Seems I was only the second person to tell him.. Ah well