How you know you've died and gone to hell.

I wake up to discover I'm living in Penworthem
Everyone in the cul-de-sac, is a Man Utd fan who never go to Old Trafford, but just watch the games on TV.

I look outside and I'm living in one of those new build estates, where every little house looks exactly the same.
They are all mock Georgian town houses, covered in UPVC, fake pillars and bright green plastic grass.
Everyone drives a White BMW 1 series with a personalised number plate.

My next door neighbour is ginger haired lady called Julie.
She's been a Chartered Accountant for 45 years & turns out to be the only PNE fan in the cul-de-sac....and possibly Penwortham
She's been an "Ambassador" ticket holder for over 50 years and is also a chief moderator for PNEOnline...
She lives with her partner Donald, who's a Junior Football Coach and is into amateur dramatics & musical theatre.

A bunch of teenagers, are standing on the corner, smoking E-Cigs.....clouds of lollipop flavoured smoke billows up into the sky
All are wearing black trackkies & trainers, with their hoods pulled up tight and their baseball caps turned sideways......
Overweight Mums are walking past wearing skin tight Yoga pants taking their cock-a-poo's for a walk.
Julie and he r dog,....Little Ms Truffles, stop outside my house and land a massive shit on my perfect plastic grass.........and just walk on by

I can only find a large desk top PC with dial up and I have to wait 10 minutes to get on to the internet......
I quickly look for AVFTT....
I find out it's been renamed as Muckers Top Brass View From The North...
There are hundreds of threads on it all with 100+ posts.
Turns out most are 20's & Cat fighting over whether they should be using an apostrophe or semi colon in a conjunctive sentence..

I then see that Neil Critchley has taken Blackpool to the top of the Premiership for the 3rd time
And this season were playing a European Cup Final against PSG....And it's on Tonight..........on BT sports
I quickly open the Match thread.....
It's 30+ posts from Phil saying the club needs to get a grip because they haven't got any ambition like he has and Critch should be sacked for not playing a 3-2-4-5-1 wing back, rush goalie formation in the game tonight....

But I know I'm truly in hell.....as the wife walks through the door........
 
B_Side_The_C_Side said:
I wake up to discover I'm living in Penworthem
Everyone in the cul-de-sac, is a Man Utd fan who never go to Old Trafford, but just watch the games on TV.

I look outside and I'm living in one of those new build estates, where every little house looks exactly the same.
They are all mock Georgian town houses, covered in UPVC, fake pillars and bright green plastic grass.
Everyone drives a White BMW 1 series with a personalised number plate.

My next door neighbour is ginger haired lady called Julie.
She's been a Chartered Accountant for 45 years & turns out to be the only PNE fan in the cul-de-sac....and possibly Penwortham
She's been an "Ambassador" ticket holder for over 50 years and is also a chief moderator for PNEOnline...
She lives with her partner Donald, who's a Junior Football Coach and is into amateur dramatics & musical theatre.

A bunch of teenagers, are standing on the corner, smoking E-Cigs.....clouds of lollipop flavoured smoke billows up into the sky
All are wearing black trackkies & trainers, with their hoods pulled up tight and their baseball caps turned sideways......
Overweight Mums are walking past wearing skin tight Yoga pants taking their cock-a-poo's for a walk.
Julie and he r dog,....Little Ms Truffles, stop outside my house and land a massive shit on my perfect plastic grass.........and just walk on by

I can only find a large desk top PC with dial up and I have to wait 10 minutes to get on to the internet......
I quickly look for AVFTT....
I find out it's been renamed as Muckers Top Brass View From The North...
There are hundreds of threads on it all with 100+ posts.
Turns out most are 20's & Cat fighting over whether they should be using an apostrophe or semi colon in a conjunctive sentence..

I then see that Neil Critchley has taken Blackpool to the top of the Premiership for the 3rd time
And this season were playing a European Cup Final against PSG....And it's on Tonight..........on BT sports
I quickly open the Match thread.....
It's 30+ posts from Phil saying the club needs to get a grip because they haven't got any ambition like he has and Critch should be sacked for not playing a 3-2-4-5-1 wing back, rush goalie formation in the game tonight....

But I know I'm truly in hell.....as the wife walks through the door........
Click to expand...
👏👏
 
B_Side_The_C_Side said:
I wake up to discover I'm living in Penworthem
Everyone in the cul-de-sac, is a Man Utd fan who never go to Old Trafford, but just watch the games on TV.

I look outside and I'm living in one of those new build estates, where every little house looks exactly the same.
They are all mock Georgian town houses, covered in UPVC, fake pillars and bright green plastic grass.
Everyone drives a White BMW 1 series with a personalised number plate.

My next door neighbour is ginger haired lady called Julie.
She's been a Chartered Accountant for 45 years & turns out to be the only PNE fan in the cul-de-sac....and possibly Penwortham
She's been an "Ambassador" ticket holder for over 50 years and is also a chief moderator for PNEOnline...
She lives with her partner Donald, who's a Junior Football Coach and is into amateur dramatics & musical theatre.

A bunch of teenagers, are standing on the corner, smoking E-Cigs.....clouds of lollipop flavoured smoke billows up into the sky
All are wearing black trackkies & trainers, with their hoods pulled up tight and their baseball caps turned sideways......
Overweight Mums are walking past wearing skin tight Yoga pants taking their cock-a-poo's for a walk.
Julie and he r dog,....Little Ms Truffles, stop outside my house and land a massive shit on my perfect plastic grass.........and just walk on by

I can only find a large desk top PC with dial up and I have to wait 10 minutes to get on to the internet......
I quickly look for AVFTT....
I find out it's been renamed as Muckers Top Brass View From The North...
There are hundreds of threads on it all with 100+ posts.
Turns out most are 20's & Cat fighting over whether they should be using an apostrophe or semi colon in a conjunctive sentence..

I then see that Neil Critchley has taken Blackpool to the top of the Premiership for the 3rd time
And this season were playing a European Cup Final against PSG....And it's on Tonight..........on BT sports
I quickly open the Match thread.....
It's 30+ posts from Phil saying the club needs to get a grip because they haven't got any ambition like he has and Critch should be sacked for not playing a 3-2-4-5-1 wing back, rush goalie formation in the game tonight....

But I know I'm truly in hell.....as the wife walks through the door........
Click to expand...
The second paragraph is absolutely my idea of hell.

Or Lytham, as it's called now.
 
I turn on SSN and it says PKE are promoted to the Prem, nobbers online is full of the bastards gloating about their promotion.
 
B_Side_The_C_Side said:
I wake up to discover I'm living in Penworthem
Everyone in the cul-de-sac, is a Man Utd fan who never go to Old Trafford, but just watch the games on TV.

I look outside and I'm living in one of those new build estates, where every little house looks exactly the same.
They are all mock Georgian town houses, covered in UPVC, fake pillars and bright green plastic grass.
Everyone drives a White BMW 1 series with a personalised number plate.

My next door neighbour is ginger haired lady called Julie.
She's been a Chartered Accountant for 45 years & turns out to be the only PNE fan in the cul-de-sac....and possibly Penwortham
She's been an "Ambassador" ticket holder for over 50 years and is also a chief moderator for PNEOnline...
She lives with her partner Donald, who's a Junior Football Coach and is into amateur dramatics & musical theatre.

A bunch of teenagers, are standing on the corner, smoking E-Cigs.....clouds of lollipop flavoured smoke billows up into the sky
All are wearing black trackkies & trainers, with their hoods pulled up tight and their baseball caps turned sideways......
Overweight Mums are walking past wearing skin tight Yoga pants taking their cock-a-poo's for a walk.
Julie and he r dog,....Little Ms Truffles, stop outside my house and land a massive shit on my perfect plastic grass.........and just walk on by

I can only find a large desk top PC with dial up and I have to wait 10 minutes to get on to the internet......
I quickly look for AVFTT....
I find out it's been renamed as Muckers Top Brass View From The North...
There are hundreds of threads on it all with 100+ posts.
Turns out most are 20's & Cat fighting over whether they should be using an apostrophe or semi colon in a conjunctive sentence..

I then see that Neil Critchley has taken Blackpool to the top of the Premiership for the 3rd time
And this season were playing a European Cup Final against PSG....And it's on Tonight..........on BT sports
I quickly open the Match thread.....
It's 30+ posts from Phil saying the club needs to get a grip because they haven't got any ambition like he has and Critch should be sacked for not playing a 3-2-4-5-1 wing back, rush goalie formation in the game tonight....

But I know I'm truly in hell.....as the wife walks through the door........
Click to expand...
Bravo Sir
 
B_Side_The_C_Side said:
I wake up to discover I'm living in Penworthem
Everyone in the cul-de-sac, is a Man Utd fan who never go to Old Trafford, but just watch the games on TV.

I look outside and I'm living in one of those new build estates, where every little house looks exactly the same.
They are all mock Georgian town houses, covered in UPVC, fake pillars and bright green plastic grass.
Everyone drives a White BMW 1 series with a personalised number plate.

My next door neighbour is ginger haired lady called Julie.
She's been a Chartered Accountant for 45 years & turns out to be the only PNE fan in the cul-de-sac....and possibly Penwortham
She's been an "Ambassador" ticket holder for over 50 years and is also a chief moderator for PNEOnline...
She lives with her partner Donald, who's a Junior Football Coach and is into amateur dramatics & musical theatre.

A bunch of teenagers, are standing on the corner, smoking E-Cigs.....clouds of lollipop flavoured smoke billows up into the sky
All are wearing black trackkies & trainers, with their hoods pulled up tight and their baseball caps turned sideways......
Overweight Mums are walking past wearing skin tight Yoga pants taking their cock-a-poo's for a walk.
Julie and he r dog,....Little Ms Truffles, stop outside my house and land a massive shit on my perfect plastic grass.........and just walk on by

I can only find a large desk top PC with dial up and I have to wait 10 minutes to get on to the internet......
I quickly look for AVFTT....
I find out it's been renamed as Muckers Top Brass View From The North...
There are hundreds of threads on it all with 100+ posts.
Turns out most are 20's & Cat fighting over whether they should be using an apostrophe or semi colon in a conjunctive sentence..

I then see that Neil Critchley has taken Blackpool to the top of the Premiership for the 3rd time
And this season were playing a European Cup Final against PSG....And it's on Tonight..........on BT sports
I quickly open the Match thread.....
It's 30+ posts from Phil saying the club needs to get a grip because they haven't got any ambition like he has and Critch should be sacked for not playing a 3-2-4-5-1 wing back, rush goalie formation in the game tonight....

But I know I'm truly in hell.....as the wife walks through the door........
Click to expand...
The best post of the year so far for me 🤣🤣🤣👍.
 
You wake up in Preston.

MrsDP was a very good dancer (not with me😟) but even she did not watch it on Saturday.
 
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