O/T Saying goodbye to your pet

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Boltonseasider

Well-known member
Had to have my beloved cat put to sleep this morning. She was in heart failure and had been on tablets for a month but she deteriorated suddenly over the last couple of days. I made the heartbreaking decision to put her to sleep this morning when she wouldn't eat and was clearly starting to suffer. It broke my heart saying goodbye to her. I've never experienced this before. How do you process the loss of a dearly loved pet?
 
Had similar with dog 3 years ago - very sad but gets better and now only have fond memories
Only down side of having pets is where you are now but they are great

Just got in from hour walk with our terrier
 
It’s bloody awful. Every sympathy to you. 😢

We’ve lost so many cats and dogs over the years. (Mainly because we’ve had so many!)
Currently got 3 cats and 1 dog.
You’ve just got to keep reminding yourself that you gave them the best possible life and kindest death. Not even humans can achieve that blessing sometimes.
Take your time. Get over the grief and eventually you might be ready to give another animal a much needed home & love.
 
It took me7 years after my last dog died before I gave in and got another dog. I found it incredibly painful. However as horrible as it may be when I got this one I decided that I had to take responsibility for his death aswell as his life. Now I know that will all sound bollox as when it comes down to it again as I inevitably will I will no doubt be an absolute mess. It’s a tough one for sure.
 
Sorry to hear that, my cat died last November, pretty suddenly, she was only 6.

Its hard because if you were anything like me your daily routine involved them for a long time, house felt devoid for a while. It gets easier as time goes by, that being said I still haven't looked at a picture of her since.

Time heals, you always keep them in your heart though. RIP to your kitty.
 
Boltonseasider said:
I'm really struggling to hold it together right now. I took her into my home 13 years ago when she was a young stray living in my garden. She's had a great life with me and I take a lot of comfort from that. I'm going to miss her so much.
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Feel for you. As others have said you will always have the fondest of memories. Nobody can take them away. You gave the cat a great life and a long life.
 
Boltonseasider said:
Had to have my beloved cat put to sleep this morning. She was in heart failure and had been on tablets for a month but she deteriorated suddenly over the last couple of days. I made the heartbreaking decision to put her to sleep this morning when she wouldn't eat and was clearly starting to suffer. It broke my heart saying goodbye to her. I've never experienced this before. How do you process the loss of a dearly loved pet?
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Really sorry to hear this.
We also had to have our cat put to sleep last October after about a week of vet treatment/tests, she was around 14 years old & we'd spent ages successfully integrating her with the then newish puppy. It was still awful & the thought of it still upsets us. We've got loads of photos over the years & a few on display to remember her by. To be honest the dog got extra love & did tend to soften the blow. Time however does heal.

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Boltonseasider said:
I'm really struggling to hold it together right now. I took her into my home 13 years ago when she was a young stray living in my garden. She's had a great life with me and I take a lot of comfort from that. I'm going to miss her so much.
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It hurts like fukc right now. Nothing's going to make that better for a while. Then your memories just become good ones. Stick her photo in a frame and talk to her every day like I do. I sound like a nutter but it's a healing process.
 
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Boltonseasider said:
I'm really struggling to hold it together right now. I took her into my home 13 years ago when she was a young stray living in my garden. She's had a great life with me and I take a lot of comfort from that. I'm going to miss her so much.
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It's tough, we went through the same thing a few years ago with our cat, we'd had him 13 years, still miss the little bugger and we haven't had or plan to have another because of how it left us feeling when we lost him.
You can take great comfort from the life you gave them and it will get easier with time but it will be very raw for quite a while. Chin up and take care 👍
 
Screenshot_20210724-135608_Gallery.jpgthis is Tia a magnificent cat who we've had for 16 years.
Sadly She looks nothing like this now, she's skin and bones but she's still eating drinking and making a general nuisance of herself.
She is generally our youngest lads and he known no different since he was 11 years old.
It will break our hearts when we have to eventually say goodbye as I dont think itll be too far away as were awaiting blood tests on Monday
 
We had to have our 7 year old border collie cross put to sleep due to epilepsy many years ago.We decided that after all the trauma and upset we wouldn't have another dog............... 3 weeks later along came another.We had him for 11 years before losing him.Now on our 3rd pooch 9 years ,daft as a brush but great fun.
 
Wizzerboy said:
View attachment 7274this is Tia a magnificent cat who we've had for 16 years.
Sadly She looks nothing like this now, she's skin and bones but she's still eating drinking and making a general nuisance of herself.
She is generally our youngest lads and he known no different since he was 11 years old.
It will break our hearts when we have to eventually say goodbye as I dont think itll be too far away as were awaiting blood tests on Monday
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Lovely picture of Tia. Looks very similar to my little girl. Fingers crossed for you Wizzer.
 
Unfortunately, as others say, it’s normal to feel bereft at first. It will get easier though ❤️ Let yourself get upset when you need to, then break that up with a few distractions like going for a walk when you feel up to it.
Sounds like your cat had a lovely life with you. The cycle of life is gut wrenching sometimes but you’ll always have your memories and one day soon they won’t hurt, they’ll make you smile instead.
Take care x
 
Lost one of my cats at the start of the first lockdown last year. The worst thing was I couldn't go in to the vets and be with him when they put him to sleep. I just had to hand him over on the car park. It broke my heart, I don't mind admitting.
Still got the other cat, she's 14 years old and so far still going strong. But I know the time will come when I have to say goodbye to her and my heart will be broken again.
There's nothing much you can do about losing a pet but let the grieving process run it's course. It's horrible and my heart goes out to you Bolton.
 
RUSTY_2_STANDS said:
Lost one of my cats at the start of the first lockdown last year. The worst thing was I couldn't go in to the vets and be with him when they put him to sleep. I just had to hand him over on the car park. It broke my heart, I don't mind admitting.
Still got the other cat, she's 14 years old and so far still going strong. But I know the time will come when I have to say goodbye to her and my heart will be broken again.
There's nothing much you can do about losing a pet but let the grieving process run it's course. It's horrible and my heart goes out to you Bolton.
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My mums cat was at around the same time and she had to do the handover. The thing about cats is that even when they are so very unwell their eyes always look bright and like they did as a kitten. The last look they give you breaks your heart.
 
Boltonseasider said:
Had to have my beloved cat put to sleep this morning. She was in heart failure and had been on tablets for a month but she deteriorated suddenly over the last couple of days. I made the heartbreaking decision to put her to sleep this morning when she wouldn't eat and was clearly starting to suffer. It broke my heart saying goodbye to her. I've never experienced this before. How do you process the loss of a dearly loved pet?
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I feel your pain. We had to have our 19, yes 19, year old Yorkshire Terrier Tich put down. He had dementia and couldn’t find his food or water, his kidneys then started failing and although the vet said it was the kindest thing and we knew it was the kindest thing I still felt like a murderer. It took us a good while to get over the loss, we then got 2 Jack Russells. These 2 are now almost 15 years old and we still talk about Tich even though our current 2 are very much loved. You never really get over it, you just get used to it.
 
Time is all there is I guess. I’ve only cried once as an adult and that was when my cat was hit by a car. He pulled through, but when he eventually runs out of lives I’ll be in bits and no mistake. Sorry for your loss, as you say, take comfort in the great life you gave her.
 
Boltonseasider said:
Had to have my beloved cat put to sleep this morning. She was in heart failure and had been on tablets for a month but she deteriorated suddenly over the last couple of days. I made the heartbreaking decision to put her to sleep this morning when she wouldn't eat and was clearly starting to suffer. It broke my heart saying goodbye to her. I've never experienced this before. How do you process the loss of a dearly loved pet?
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So sorry, but you don't get over it, just simply have to learn to live with it
Another Cat/ dog might help but does not replace the pet
 
I think the thing is that when you lose a pet people treat you differently to a human bereavement in that they give you a couple of days sympathy and then expect you to move on which can be hard.
I lost my Border Collie 7 years ago and when I took him to the vets I knew he wasn't coming back with me which is so hard to go through. You stay with them till the end , go home with just a collar and cry your eyes out.
I've never had another dog since but probably will when I retire and I'm home more. I've every sympathy for anybody losing a pet, it's so hard to deal with but all the memories you make with them outweighs the heartache at the end.
 
I understand everything that all of you have said here, it hurts like hell losing a loved one. 20 years ago I lost my dad and 4yrs ago my mum passed too but last September I lost my little boy after 12 years together. Because of covid I couldn't be with him when they put him to sleep and I unashamedly bawled my eyes out. I've never cried about anything or anyone as much as I continue to do about him. I miss him daily and sometimes when I am out walking I see others with their dogs and I feel real elements of envy. Sometimes I feel guilt about letting him go but I know that he had become too ill and he was beginning to suffer. The irony is that I didn't want him at first, it took my daughter 18 months of constant pleading for me to give in. I'm so glad that she didn't give in so we were were able to spend so many wonderful moments of our lives with such a beautiful animal, loving, kind, sociable and empathic. I used to think that a dog was just a dog, basically all the same. Until you really get to know your animal you realise that they are as different as you and I. They all have their own idiosyncrasies, moods, traits and ways to show their affection. If I was feeling low he would know and would comfort me. If there is a place that we go to after this life I know that he will be in the very best place that it's possible to be in. Although it hurts to feel this way I'm glad that I do because I know it's because we had such a beautiful soul in our midst and he gave us such wonderful memories. I am sad that he has gone but I'm 100% happier to have enjoyed his time with us.

My daughter sent me the Wallace and Gromit picture shortly after we let him go, it summed up our relationship perfectly. 😍 🤣20210724_154551.jpg20210724_145507.jpg
 
Our cat Goggles was 6 years old when he was hit by a car and killed last week. It devastated all the family. A real comfort though was a lady driving back from Poulton to Thornton in the early hours of the morning, saw him in the road, stopped, picked him up and left him wrapped up outside the local vets. They were able to trace us as we had him chipped. We were able to contact the lady who was a cat lover herself. There are some very kind and thoughtful people about. We buried Goggles in the garden but we miss him and his little habits every day.
 
Losing a pet is tough and doesn't any easier with age.
I had to put my cat to sleep at the end of December 2019. It was horrific.

We got her as a kitten from a rescue shelter but within a coupe of weeks she had huge swelling in the abdomen. She was diagnosed with FIP (Feline Infectious Peritonitis). In the UK these cats would be put to sleep almost straight away as life expectancy is low.
In Thailand it's highly frowned upon/possibly illegal to euthanise an animal so we started treatment. Basically every month the vet had to drain the fluid and she was put on steroids and other drugs including an a subcutaneous fluid drip that we had to do ourselves every day for about a month.

She lived for a further 9 months (almost unheard of with cats with FIP. Then whilst on holiday (October 2019), she suddenly stopped eating and we had to force feed her for with a syringe in the hope she would start to feed on her own.

December 2019, we went away again and she became really sick. Took her to an animal hospital (yes they have those here and they're size of human hospitals). Vet couldn't do much. She was pi$$ing everywhere, trying to escape the room and attacking us. We managed to find a vet who would euthanize her that evening as she was suffering terribly. It was heartbreaking but it got worse.

The next morning we picked her up from the vet so she could go to a temple to be cremated. I expected the Buddhist monk to take her and do the cremation after we'd left and we'd come back to pick up the ashes. But no. She was placed on the tray ready to go into the oven and the monk squirted lighter fluid over her, lit a match and chucked it on. Right in front of my 2 kids. We grabbed them and rushed back to the car. They had a sh!t ton of questions that needed answering.

When we came back for the ashes, I expected them to be bagged up ready to take. But no. The Monk picked through the ash in front of me to bag up the bones and skull that were left. I was too shocked to say anything so just took the bag and put it in the car. I drove back over 2 hours to Bangkok straight after and it took all my strength not to break down.

Mia's remains are in a nice ceramic jar in the living room filled with photos of us all and her favourite toys and blanket.
 
Supersub said:
Our cat Goggles was 6 years old when he was hit by a car and killed last week. It devastated all the family. A real comfort though was a lady driving back from Poulton to Thornton in the early hours of the morning, saw him in the road, stopped, picked him up and left him wrapped up outside the local vets. They were able to trace us as we had him chipped. We were able to contact the lady who was a cat lover herself. There are some very kind and thoughtful people about. We buried Goggles in the garden but we miss him and his little habits every day.
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Very sorry to hear that Supersub. The pain of them not being there anymore is very hard to bear. Dammit, got something in my eye again.
 
Bolton, the sad but simple answer is part of you never will be able get over it, because you'll miss them so much.

But, although its a cliche, time does help to heal. You know what a wonderful life you gave her, and that you did everything you could until it wasn't possible any more.

That's what separates pet owners into two groups. I think you, me and (judging by what everyone's written above) everyone else here are in the first group who will do whatever they can for their animal, in both time and finance, and only stop once it's sadly obvious it wouldn't be fair on them to continue. The other group still love their animal but aren't prepared to go all the way and would have it put to sleep once it became more than they were prepared to commit to, again either in time and/or finance.

I exclude altogether a final group who abandon or mistreat their animal because they're just bastards who deserve no further mention.

We lost our first two cats within a year of each other. Gizzy was 18, then little Robbie made 15 which was probably 14 and a bit more than he might of had we not taken him as he was so ill as a kitten. Once Rob went we said no more for a long time - three weeks later we were at the RSPCA and met Benny, who's owner had had to give him up. I picked him up, he stuck his nose down my ear and that was that. We took him home a week later.

Had him 7 years now, he's been diabetic for the last three. It's a huge commitment, but is he worth it? Effing right he is.

Everyone's timescale is different, but you'll know when it's right for you. Somewhere out there is another cat or dog or duck billed platypuss that needs the love and support you obviously gave to this one. When you feel ready, go and find them, and keep the happy memories of the one you've lost.
 
They are very much part of your family. We have a cat. Love her to bits. Being upset like you are is to be expected. You are in Bolton. Right near me, In Wigan. All the best.
 
It's grief like any other, you don't get over it, but you learn to live with it. Pets are unlike humans, you don't fall out with them, they don't let you down, they are always pleased to see you, could be described as your bezzie. Remember all the good times, remember that you made a life for them that they adored, and keep talking about them. We lost our old boy 8 years ago, still talk about him every day. Was with him to the end, held his paw as he went to sleep and died, I'd promised him years before I would never leave him and didn't. How folk are coping at the moment not being allowed in the vets I don't know.

We had him cremated, still got his little box as a focus with a photo. Have 2 more dogs now, love them as much, we keep each other sane.
 
Supersub said:
Cheers Bolton very much appreciated.
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I said goodbye to my last two cats at ages 16 and 18 nearly ten years ago.

In both cases I had to make the decision to have them put to sleep.

On both occasions I weeped uncontrollably (like a baby) more so than when my parents passed away!

We now have ywo more cats aged 7 who I love dearly, knowing that I will have to deal with their departure within the next ten years or so.

Accept the pajn you are feeling now, but be thankful for the great life she had.

The pain will ease with time. 🐱
 
Sit down and write about your pets life then pick out your fave photos and turn it into a book. I did it when our last cat died. Amazing thing to have as a keepsake.
 
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