April13th1970
Well-known member
"Boo" must be Aboriginal for "Come Back" because when you throw a regular meringue, it doesn't
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up.
The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place.
At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Keep 'em comingI was really worried that my premature ejaculation would ruin my career as a porn star.
Christ I'm nervous I said to the director on the first day of filming
He said, don't worry lad youll be fine just stick to the script.
I already have
Took me a while"Boo" must be Aboriginal for "Come Back" because when you throw a regular meringue, it doesn't
Best of the thread. It actually sounds original - is it?I’ve heard she’s not on PAYE - never paid a penne in tax .
I like it…good family jokeThis is one of my self made jokes - though I’m not sure it’s suitable for the Edinburgh minge shaving festival or whatever it is they’re doing up (or down) there.
Ok here goes ——-
‘I’ve found a way to chat up women without them feeling uncomfortable. Basically I just tell them ‘I’m A-sexual’.
I find it’s much better than telling them the truth - that ‘I’m A Sexual Predator’.
Fish bangs it's head on a concrete wallTwo fish in a tank.
One said “I’ll drive; you man the guns”.
How many telesales callers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but he can only do it when you're about to have your tea.
Took me a while
Went for a Chinese last night and ended up chatting to the waiter.
He told me that he used to be a kamikaze pilot in the war and his code name was chow mein.
I thought kamikaze pilots always committed suicide on their flights, I said.
That is true he said but I was chicken chow mein!!
Went for a Chinese last night and ended up chatting to the waiter.
He told me that he used to be a kamikaze pilot in the war and his code name was chow mein.
I thought kamikaze pilots always committed suicide on their flights, I said.
That is true he said but I was chicken chow mein!!
DiversityWhy was a Japanese war veteran working as a waiter in a Chinese restaurant?
Lazy ethnic stereotyping?Why was a Japanese war veteran working as a waiter in a Chinese restaurant?
As the actress said to the bishopI'm not there yet ?
if he'd owned up he could have got the saki?Lazy ethnic stereotyping?
I had a wee in the pool at the swimming bathsI met a girl at the swimming baths.
I asked if I could duck her.............
she said you can't even say it right.
I read it several times & the penny only just dropped. DohI'm not there yet ?
I read it several times & the penny only just dropped. Doh
Because "Boo" is aboriginal Australian for "Come Back", A Meringue doesn't come back but a Boo-Meringue is a Meringue that come backI'm still not there despite trying to Google my way out on Friday.
I might try again later on.
Because "Boo" is aboriginal Australian for "Come Back", A Meringue doesn't come back but a Bo-Meringue is a Meringue that come back
No problem, we all have a different sense of humour.Thanks April, you have saved me the trouble of trying to work that out later on, I'd still be working on it at Xmas if you hadn't told me.
I can't say that I'm impressed as others appeared to be with that rather cryptic joke, I don't know if that's because I'm a stupid or miserable James Hunt.