Mental help needed

[highfieldsouthshore]

Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice

 

[Scaramanga]

Don’t do it, your family needs you and loves you more than you realise. Speak to someone ASAP.

 

[GJJW]

Lots of resources out there pal. You need to speak to people. Here you go;

Mental health services

Find out how to access NHS mental health services and where to get urgent help.

www.nhs.uk

All the best mate

 

[TangerineBayern]

Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice

HSS please seek professional advice as soon as possible, you are not by yourself in feeling the way you but you need to talk about it otherwise it will eat away at you.

 

[Jaffa_The_Hut]

First all all drop those negative thoughts from your head right now.
Loads of help out there like the Samaritans.
Please please take a step back and think about it for a minute life is far too precious to throw it all away yes times are bad right now for loads of people but things will improve trust me and throwing your life away answer nothing at all.
Speak to some professional bodies who are used to dealing with this sort of thing just don’t do nothing, life is the No1 priority over everything.

 

[td53]

Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice

1. Talk to someone. If not family, someone. Don't be afraid to talk to someone professional and to demand it.

It's nearly 20 years since I did and it was honestly life changing. It just got me to look at stuff in a different way. I don't know how you feel now but I sat in my back yard and sobbed and sobbed. I didn't want to live, just for a short while. I've never felt that before or since but I'd drunk two bottle of wine and I honestly thought about doing myself in.

I didn't (obviously) and the ability to talk to someone without judgement was incredible as I felt like anyone I spoke to, I was just bringing down.

So talk, make a phone call or get on to GP and DEMAND you get seen by counselling or whatever.

2. Don't even think it would be better without you. It wouldn't. People love you. I lost an uncle and my cousin lost his dad. I am still haunted by my cousin's face on the morning we found out.

3. If you look for some help, talk to someone, try meds, whatever it is, it might help you talk to your family as you can say 'i feel this way, but I've done this...'

4. One step at a time. One little positive thing, however small. Each day, set yourself one tiny goal, however little.

5. Keep talking to us if there's no one else.

 

[shawman51]

Nobody will be better off without you. You have taken the first step by opening up about your feelings and thoughts.
Loads of help out there.

 

[Johnno]

Speak to the Samaritans - they are brilliant.
Totally non-judgemental and will get the ball rolling.
You will feel a million times better the first time you unload it all.
As someone has already said, there will always be someone on here to chat with.

Good luck.

 

[Old_Laytonian]

I’ve no experience but the fact you have posted on here asking for help can only be seen as a positive. Keep posting and talking

 

[TangerineBayern]

1. Talk to someone. If not family, someone. Don't be afraid to talk to someone professional and to demand it.

It's nearly 20 years since I did and it was honestly life changing. It just got me to look at stuff in a different way. I don't know how you feel now but I sat in my back yard and sobbed and sobbed. I didn't want to live, just for a short while. I've never felt that before or since but I'd drunk two bottle of wine and I honestly thought about doing myself in.

I didn't (obviously) and the ability to talk to someone without judgement was incredible as I felt like anyone I spoke to, I was just bringing down.

So talk, make a phone call or get on to GP and DEMAND you get seen by counselling or whatever.

2. Don't even think it would be better without you. It wouldn't. People love you. I lost an uncle and my cousin lost his dad. I am still haunted by my cousin's face on the morning we found out.

3. If you look for some help, talk to someone, try meds, whatever it is, it might help you talk to your family as you can say 'i feel this way, but I've done this...'

4. One step at a time. One little positive thing, however small. Each day, set yourself one tiny goal, however little.

5. Keep talking to us if there's no one else.

Well said td53, fantastic advice

 

[Bloodtangerine]

I see you’ve only typed this 13 mins ago so I hope you are reading the replies mate.

I have suffered in the past just as you describe but I’m now perfectly fine and genuinely feel very vey good the vast vast majority of the time.

Let me ask you one simple question .......Can you remember a happy moment or moments or even days/weeks of Relative happiness?

 

[Thelaneends1]

Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice

Your family need you mate and would be lost without you, it's tough at the minute and we will have tougher times in the near future.
Look for the positives and focus on these that's how I get through my difficult days.
Keep talking to us and we will get through it.

 

[Wizaard]

Nobody will be better off without you. You have taken the first step by opening up about your feelings and thoughts.
Loads of help out there.

Agree with all the sentiments listed above. My best mate killed himself thinking it would make things better for everyone else. It doesn't. Nearly 30 years on and I still ask myself what I could have done differently to see what was happening and do something about it.

Get help. Please. You think no one is interested, but they are.

 

[Lala]

Your family are never better off without you and it’s the depression itself that is telling you that, it’s not the reality.

Mental Health - Crisis team Out of Hours - Blackpool | FYi Directory

service_description

www.fyidirectory.co.uk

If you feel you are in crisis at the moment and a risk to your own health give the crisis team above a ring and see what they recommend.
Failing that contact your GP as soon as you can to discuss your current mood and self- refer yourself to supporting minds , you can do this online.
Many people find themselves where you are right now and though things seem insurmountable they really aren’t.
Life is so precious and no mood lasts forever.
Talk , talk and talk. It’s so important to acknowledge how you are feeling and share your thoughts with others.
Reach out for professional support and support from friends and family who would hate to think of you feeling so low.
Virtual hug for you right now xx

 

[TangerineBayern]

You’ve possibly taken the first step with the OP and positive advice already being provided by your fellow Pool supporters. We’re all here for you but please look after yourself and seek professional support.

 

[GJJW]

Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice

Private message me if it helps pal. I'm no expert but it's good to talk. Take care.

 

[Levi501]

As others have said, seek help as soon as possible, you’ve already made the first step in letting your inner thoughts out! Theres a lot of help out there, please try to think positive, thoughts are just thoughts, turn them to your family and how much they love and need you, and try to stay calm. We’ll all be thinking of you on here, stay positive and seek help. Take care.

 

[Bloodtangerine]

I’ve PM’d you mate

 

[Tangerinemoss]

Talk to someone, professional or friend. Others have been on here the same, and are now enjoying their lives and families. Good luck, but pick up that phone NOW

 

[Bloodtangerine]

And mate.....don’t be stressed about yelling your partner.....whether that’s because you think they’ll worry or pride on your part forget that shit ....if they love you they will 1,000% want to know and if you love them you should tell them ...and you will feel much better just for that

 

[AngelBFC]

Some excellent posts and advice on here .

Can’t add to what has been said above and would just be repeating.

Please make contact with the agencies above.

You will get through this .

 

[johnnyb]

I just want to echo what everyone else has said. A lot more people than you probably believe have felt like this and I bet everyone has suffered from feelings of despair at some point in their lives. The situation we are currently in with COVID-19 is no doubt making things seem worse.

Please follow the advice from fellow Seasiders and talk to someone about how you are feeling.

Sending you lots of support ...

 

[hertfordseasider]

Give the number Lala has posted, they will certainly help. Has your partner got any idea at all? I know you said you don't want to worry her, I think you need to bite the bullet and tell her you need to talk, hiding things away never do any good and she will be there for you. You aren't alone I would say any of us would chat to you if you pm'd us.

 

[Martondriver]

What a fantastic group of fans we have. Please listen to what they say. All the best. You WILL come through this.

 

[StevieBanksDiscoPants]

No one will be better without you, that's a fact, well done for taking the step to ask for help, it's the toughest of steps. My brother in law took his own life at 37, and we will never get over it, you are loved, and in no way does going away make things better, however much of a burden your own mind makes you believe you are. You are not ! Get help, you've made the first steps, keep making those small steps, no step is too small as long as it is in the right direction. One small step at a time, one day, one hour, whatever it takes, at a time. You got this, and there are more people than you know standing right behind you.

 

[Martonmosser]

Your kids are what should keep you going mate. Seek help with the Samaritans for them as well as yourself. They can certainly make you feel better about yourself and that’s the best start...... things will definitely start to look better

 

[Bloodtangerine]

It’s hard to help yourself when you are at your weakest but the fact you have posted asking for help is massively positive and shows your courage to me...we can all be “brave” when we feel strong but when we feel so so weak and depressed and still summon the grit to reach out that takes real strength mate.....you are gonna come through this I give you my personal guarantee......I promise you.......YOU WILL GET BETTER and I will meet you in a pub when this Lockdown is over with some of the others off this thread and we will all share a beer/coffee/tea and you will smile and you’ll be fine and content .....it will happen

 

[Lala]

You will definitely come through this

 

[Bloodtangerine]

You will definitely come through this

Lala has suffered too mate and she knows the score

 

[Hertsseasider]

No idea what to say but we are here if needed so post again as much as you want.
I remember from the AWAG days Old Stokie posted on the day his wife passed away as he knew it was a place where he could find comfort and support.

 

[td53]

I agree with what others say about talking to family, but it can be hard to find the words and to explain yourself or difficult if your family are also struggling or you're worried about worrying them for whatever reason.

Perhaps as others have said above, giving someone a call can help sort out in your mind how to explain.

You said you've got partner and 3 kids. That can be relentless by itself, without any other problems and I promise, the space to talk to someone non judgemental can be like an oasis.

It doesn't have to be long term or anything. It's just a starting block to push off from and once you've taken a decisive step, it will get better.

You've already taken one by talking on here.

 

[Lala]

I lost my dad to suicide and I’ve been where you are too.
I reached out as you are on here and it got me through a terrible night/ time. And the fact you are here talking means you want to get through this too.
Added to that the support of professionals and in my case a bit of medication and a lot of personal fight and I am happier, calmer and more at peace than ever before .
I thank the lord I didn’t leave my children behind with the guilt and legacy a family suicide brings with it.
Do it for your kids, your family, but most of all for YOU xxx
PM me if you think it would help.

 

[DownToBloomers]

I went through a similar situation a few years ago mate, firstly don’t ever think anybody would be better off without you. I didn't dare talk to my friends or family about it because I honestly didn’t think they’d care but when I finally plucked up the courage to tell them the support I had from from people made me feel happier than I ever could of imagined. It’s now 3 years later and im in the best place in my life I’ve ever been. Please don’t suffer in silence, if you can’t speak to your friends or family there’s many different mental health organisations to speak to who are brilliant, sometimes chatting to a complete stranger can do you the world of good.

Dont suffer alone, you’ll come out of this in a much better place

 

[Alfie Conn]

Stay strong pal, and follow the advice given to you, we are all in your corner, you have everything going for you and you will come through this.

 

[dodgy_surname]

Please talk to your partner, mother of your three lovely children

 

[Bloodtangerine]

And btw mate, you ask if there is anyone else feeling like you.....there are thousands and thousands Honestly because it’s a temporary chemical imbalance in the brain which you can no more help than getting a cold......it will pass and you must be still and not catastrophise ...stay in the moment, think not at all of the past or the future.....at this moment, minute, 5 minutes you are safe, in no Danger whatsoever and Life is a series of one minutes

 

[CalderwoodCritchleyWon’t]

Mate. I’ve been there, the absolute depths of despair with seemingly nowhere to turn.
You can get through it and I bet your kids think the world of you. I have a daughter who is everything to me and I know she would be heartbroken if I harmed myself. They need you and you need them.
Please reply on here and let us all know you’re ok.

 

[GJJW]

And btw mate, you ask if there is anyone else feeling like you.....there are thousands and thousands Honestly because it’s a temporary chemical imbalance in the brain which you can no more help than getting a cold......it will pass and you must be still and not catastrophise ...stay in the moment, think not at all of the past or the future.....at this moment, minute, 5 minutes you are safe, in no Danger whatsoever and Life is a series of one minutes

Millions feel like it mate. At the end of the day, talk to us, and we can all get through this together.

 

[HighfieldSeasider]

Highfield calling Highfield...... I've no idea if we know each other but from our usernames it's possible? Or at the very least we're from the same area.

Feel free to message me if you want to chat, I promise I will not judge you. I'm 35 and have 2 kids of my own, 1 from a previous relationship and a 6 month old, it sounds like we have quite a bit in common so I'm here if you want me to be, I genuinely mean that. Trust me, your kids need you.

 

[poolseasider]

I'm useless in these type of circumstances but PM if you want to talk.
Even about how poor we played today.

 

[GJJW]

I'm useless in these type of circumstances but PM if you want to talk.
Even about how poor we played today.

We weren't poor! Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood a little.

 

[Lala]

Maybe offload what it is that has made you slip so low right now ?

 

[CalderwoodCritchleyWon’t]

I'm useless in these type of circumstances but PM if you want to talk.
Even about how poor we played today.

Seconded !!!!

 

[poolseasider]

We weren't poor! Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood a little.

Er take you flat warm twig infested sandals and socks beards brew away with you.

 

[td53]

And btw mate, you ask if there is anyone else feeling like you.....there are thousands and thousands Honestly because it’s a temporary chemical imbalance in the brain which you can no more help than getting a cold......it will pass and you must be still and not catastrophise ...stay in the moment, think not at all of the past or the future.....at this moment, minute, 5 minutes you are safe, in no Danger whatsoever and Life is a series of one minutes

Brilliant. This.

 

[GTFsTwinBrother]

Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice

Mate. You just described how I spent 2000-2010. Best I can say is I muddled through it because I didn't seek help of any kind. Trust me... seek help. Any way you feel comfortable doing so. Even if it's a pm on here to another member.... like me, many are willing to listen and help. Let it out.

As many others have said... if you want to be 100% anonymous then the samaritans are 1st class when its comes to listening and helping. Absolutely the right thing to do giving them a call if you can. They want to help as I'm sure we all do... you're not the only one.

 

[td53]

What blood said is so ** wise.

I can remember being scared of myself, scared of my thoughts, scared of where my thoughts might lead. Literally scared to wake up. Scared of silence. Just so tired of myself and my head, going on and on and on.

That stillness, that just stopping and being in that moment, just breathing, just being, thinking of nothing is so important. It seems trite, it seems simple, it seems too simple to be so powerful but it is so powerful. It's not hippy bullshit or anything, it's exactly what blood said - it'd knowing you are here, you are safe and that moment is ok. Those moments get longer and so on...

Gonna go off here now cos you've got loads to read and loads of advice but as other said, my PMs are open.

Let us know you're alright chief.

Utmp.

 

[Martondriver]

I went through a similar situation a few years ago mate, firstly don’t ever think anybody would be better off without you. I didn't dare talk to my friends or family about it because I honestly didn’t think they’d care but when I finally plucked up the courage to tell them the support I had from from people made me feel happier than I ever could of imagined. It’s now 3 years later and im in the best place in my life I’ve ever been. Please don’t suffer in silence, if you can’t speak to your friends or family there’s many different mental health organisations to speak to who are brilliant, sometimes chatting to a complete stranger can do you the world of good.

Dont suffer alone, you’ll come out of this in a much better place

Something you said there re chatting to strangers.... so true, sometimes a person will " offload" to complete strangers things he/she would not discuss with family/close friends so well done for having the guts to take that step.

 

[Bloodtangerine]

What blood said is so ** wise.

I can remember being scared of myself, scared of my thoughts, scared of where my thoughts might lead. Literally scared to wake up. Scared of silence. Just so tired of myself and my head, going on and on and on.

That stillness, that just stopping and being in that moment, just breathing, just being, thinking of nothing is so important. It seems trite, it seems simple, it seems too simple to be so powerful but it is so powerful. It's not hippy bullshit or anything, it's exactly what blood said - it'd knowing you are here, you are safe and that moment is ok. Those moments get longer and so on...

Gonna go off here now cos you've got loads to read and loads of advice but as other said, my PMs are open.

Let us know you're alright chief.

Utmp.

I ain’t no Wise Man by any stretch But ....I read it by some other man/woman.....and it is wisdom that’s for sure ..it helped me

 

[Bloodtangerine]

He's not been online since 21:15.

Does anyone know how to contact HighfieldSS?

No but he’ll be fine....he didn’t post because he had given up, he posted because he still has hope