Mental help needed

Some really good advice here, and great to see fellow fabs showing true support.

One other thing I would add, is that depression is not a weakness. Thankfully it is now recognised as a genuine illness, caused by a chemical imbalance, and as such can be treated with medication as well as counselling and therapy. As others have said, get some professional help. If you had any other medical problem you would go to the doctors. Treat this similarly.

The best description I heard about depression was from an ex-boss who went through it. He described it as someone carrying a sack of rocks on their back through life, and others keep adding rocks to the load, making it heavier and heavier. We keep on going and going as the bag gets heavier. Eventually we can't carry any more. Just taking one rock out doesn't work, and there needs to be a kind of reset.

I've been through similar events myself, sat on the bathroom floor with the door locked, and there are warning signs that things aren't right. It seems like you are now in that position. There is light at the end of that tunnel though and things do get better, and you are loved.

As others have said, let us know that you are OK, and like others feel free to DM me if you need help.

best of luck matey, you've done the hardest bit already
 
Raging_Bull said:
After waking up this morning and reading the many posts on here it tells me a few things. Firstly how uplifting it is to see so many people (all of them complete strangers to you) really wanting you to do the right thing Highfield, and seek that professional help you need and/or speak to any of us personally by D/M and let us hold your hand and talk you through the situation you find yourself in. People care and people want to help you get through this, give them that chance to make a difference to your life pal, I know friends who have ended their lives and the devastation it leaves on their loved ones is beyond belief, my nephew is still haunted by his Dad doing this and he did it 30 years ago. One of my best pals also ended his life a couple of years ago and the pain it caused his wife and kids cannot be overstated, it crushed them and they carry that pain every single day since it happened, do you really want to cause that heartbreak to your loved ones or can you take those vital first steps and seek the help you need? You are not alone in feeling this way pal, many thousands of people are in the same shoes as you so do the right thing and take the first steps by speaking to people who want to help you and in turn that will save the people that love you from going through what I'm 100% sure you don't want your family to go through, the pain and heartache of wondering why the man they love wanted to walk out of their lives forever.

Pick up that phone, and pick it up now.
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Highfield, RB is right. My problems and those of my brothers stemmed from my dad commiting suicide in 1995..26 years this January. Councilling helped but it affected me in my life and my best years are tarnished with his loss.
If for no other reason, get help for the sake of your children.
Tomorrow is always a better day (Capt. Sir Tom Moore)
 
So many people want to help. Take up the offer for the sake of you and your family. You have already taken a big step coming on here to ask for help. Please don’t stop.
 
Pne_monster said:
Hi, I just wanted to offer my support and hope that by taking this really important first step it has enabled you to see that there are people that care, and routes to get help. As you can probably tell from my username I’m a North End fan and we have a mental health section on our forum for people like yourself to reach out for help. One of our members alerted us to your post and I wanted to stop by and chat. Mental health goes beyond football rivalries so I hope that you find the help you need. You might find that if you talk to family they are more understanding than you think. Fingers crossed for you, try and get some help please. The world is a better place with you in it.
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Fair play. 👍
 
HSS given your username we may live very close to each other, in fact we may even know each other. I know in the past on a number of different OPs we have shared views about our beloved area some very funny if l remember rightly. You can always inbox me and we can exchange some details and have a chat.
 
About 5 years ago I was already feeling particularly low and had a big bust up with a close member of my family which sent me in a downward spiral. I didn't want to do anything, talk to or be around anyone (which wasn't great for my wife) it was horrendous and frightens me to this day. It lasted 3 months and I went to the doctors for another matter but casually slipped in how I felt. My doctor was brilliant and very understanding, just talking made me feel better. I was found to have a vit D deficiency (which is common) and this can affect the mood and I take on a weekly basis 20000iu Hux D3 tablets and I started to exercise which was the best thing I could have done. I got through it, please talk to your doctor and please get out and exercise even a moderate amount can help massively. I got through it without taking pills (other than Vitamin D) and I'm sure you can.
 
highfieldsouthshore said:
Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice
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116123 - Samaritans. The person you speak to will listen without judging you and help you think things through. Totally confidential.
 
Please please stop and think. You’ve your whole life ahead of you. I’ve helped with mental health for the past twenty years. I will give you two contacts you could 100% talk to the first one helped my husband to a full recovery. Please keep in touch and let me know if you get the help you require
Stuart hutton Brown at counselling in the community he is based at the old St. Paul’s doctors surgery on Dickson rd his numbers are 01253-749722
07476419248https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/stuart-hutton-brown
 
michellebutterflyhotel said:
Please please stop and think. You’ve your whole life ahead of you. I’ve helped with mental health for the past twenty years. I will give you two contacts you could 100% talk to the first one helped my husband to a full recovery. Please keep in touch and let me know if you get the help you require
Stuart hutton Brown at counselling in the community he is based at the old St. Paul’s doctors surgery on Dickson rd his numbers are 01253-749722
07476419248https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/stuart-hutton-bro
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michellebutterflyhotel said:
www.counselling-directory.org.uk

Stuart Hutton-Brown. BSc (Hons) Counselling and Psychotherapy

Are you struggling with anxiety, depression or just coping in general? Then counselling may help you make sense of things. I offer a free initial assessment where you can decide if I'm the right therapist for you.
www.counselling-directory.org.uk www.counselling-directory.org.uk
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I have now referred three adults to Stuart. He offers an excellent service and all three adults came out the other side and are now fully enjoying life as best they can under the current circumstances
 
Since1967 said:
I have reported this post to admin with a plea they step in somehow. I don't think w can leave this hanging. Are there any moderators out there who can prompt admin into some action?
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Hetzke Blaster asked the same thing yesterday re admin.
To ask for help, be given loads of great advice then not to get back to the thread is incredibly worrying
 
This thread has nearly made me cry, I've been there when I left the forces. I had a child with someone I desperately disliked. It felt like no one gave a toss about me when I didn't have her at the weekend. I took up Rugby and whether it saved my life or not I don't know but it changed things for me. I've never had such dark thoughts driving my car, wondering what the ** point was. Bar a few tears, would anyone really give a shit? I've been there. As I bet a few others have.

I hope you've got in touch, because people care. Blackpool fans care, football fans care and your family definitely cares.
 
Agree completely about laying off the booze.
My brother was in a bad place. He was 20 months older than I. We lived in different parts of the country and I rarely saw him.
I got a phone call one day from my sister in Blackpool to say that he was dead.
He literally drank himself to death. two bottles of spirits a night apparently.
He had no financial worries, good job, a car each for him and his wife.
I have my own views. He had no children, which might have affected him.
He was at the A-Bomb experimental explosions near to the Monte bello Islands off Australia. May/June 1956.
They stood on the deck of their ship, facing away from the blast, and then were told they could turn round.
Many were told never to have children. I think that might have been his problem.
He was 22 y.o. in early 1956.
 
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Johnno said:
Speak to the Samaritans - they are brilliant.
Totally non-judgemental and will get the ball rolling.
You will feel a million times better the first time you unload it all.
As someone has already said, there will always be someone on here to chat with.

Good luck.
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Yes please speak to the Samaritans my wife is a Samaritan and I know they will help you. All the best to you.
 
Just want to add to the cares of others. People care H, as is obvious on this board. Lost my brother 3 years ago. Although he drunk himself to death he knew what he was doing. The hole he made in the whole family is massive and will never be filled. We all punish ourselves daily with thoughts of what could we have done. Please take up any of the offers of contact from anyone on this board including me. Makes me feel emotional how we all care about each other despite silly squabbles.
 
HSS - I hope you are reading all this and taking heart from all the wise advice and shared experiences your fellow tangerines have put on this thread. By reaching out you took the first, bravest step in talking about what you are feeling. As another who has been exactly where you are, and more than once in my life, I know how hard that is.

If you can, try and continue to take the next small, positive steps forward. If you can, please do reach out to any of the wonderful organisations and people mentioned on this thread because, again speaking from experience, once you take that step it feels much easier to cope. Those organisations and people listed on this thread really can help you.

Most of all though remember that you are not alone in this. Millions are struggling, life isn't easy, but the wonderful thing about the vast majority of people is that they want to help. And this thread shows you have lots of people on this board who are in your corner, ready to listen and happy to help, if you need any of us.

If you can drop us a line please do. No pressure to write anything other than hello if that is what you can manage. Help is always at hand and this thread shows there are lots of us on here that you can turn to when you feel able.
 
Well if it was him he’ll be getting the professional help he struggled to ask for and that’s a massive start.
His family will no longer be in the dark regarding how he feels and sometimes it’s that rock bottom you need to hit to fight your way back up again.
Love to HSS whether it is him or not, and hope wherever you are now you are talking and getting help ❤️
Don’t ever be afraid to come back and chat on here. What you’ve been experiencing is so common there is never any reason to feel ashamed for articulating your struggle to others, however or wherever you do that.
 
Hope you have read all this. I lost my old man young. Tbh he was not brilliant, very violent. Dishonest. Left my mam for other women. I am so sad he has not see me grow up, see my family, share my experiences. One day can seem a very long time, especially evenings. You will have so many great things to see in your life. Your kids will want their Dad at their wedding, to see their children, too give them Christmas presents. You gave done well reaching out. You have shown great self awareness. You evidently have an appetite.
 
In the last couple of days I have had two people tell me they need help.

One man is a leading Councillor so doesn't feel he can seek help locally as he's worried how the opposition will abuse it. Fortunately, MrsTSS has enough contacts in the mental health field to get him support which should start tonight. I've also offered to just take him with me as I do some of my work which will give him somebody to listen and talk nonsense with.

The other is a colleague who has just had her third child and is feeling the pressure of a new born and yet again having to face it without the network of support that historically women would get in pregnancy and early motherhood. She's going to find her own support, but I will check that she does.

Both responded to a simple text message when I asked "are you ok?" Both shocked me with their honesty and need for help.

The OP has really affected me; I've seen the smile on the face, the life and soul of the party hide torture in people.

I hope he gets the help he needs; and if they aren't the same people, the bloke in the sea gets it too.

It's a simple thing to say but asking and being prepared for the 'worst' answer is massively important.

Also, just being that bit kinder and watching how we are with one another must surely help.
 
After the AVFTT Admin told me they had e mailed the OP I asked them for an update. They did not reply. I have messaged them as follows:
'Admin, you really cannot leave this unresolved. Have you had a response to your e mail? If not what action have you taken? You cannot run a message board commercially and ignore this type of issue.'
 
I'm no expert on this subject, but would suggest you have just taken the first, bravest step to look for help by asking for advice on here. Now, you need to seek professional assistance and try to remove those feelings from your head. Good luck mate and hopefully see you when we are finally allowed back into the ground.
 
I'm an 18 year old from North London (just about to turn 19), supported pool since my dad took me to Watford away in 2007 when I was 5. For the past year I've been struggling with mental health. I remember the first time I properly spoke to my parents and girlfriend (at the time) about it and just bawling my eyes out because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what to do about it, but now I'm past that, it's the bravest thing I've ever done. When I'm down I think of Pool matches to raise my spirits. Like P'boro away when we won 1-0 and got in the playoffs, the homecoming, Arsenal away in the premiership and Barnsley away in the anniversary year and being a part of mega Pool away followings and obviously the big one at Wembley after playing Forest off the park in easily the most entertaining game (bar Cardiff) I've ever watched. I'm shaking writing this out because I haven't opened up like this for a while but I wanna use my experience with depression so far and turn it into a positive for others who are going through the same thing, but also to try and educate those who might not understand mental illness too well. My pops will probably read this and think I should take my own advice because I know I should try and talk more but its so much easier said than done but it really does do so much good in the long run. Hope you're okay mate. UTP
 
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BushHillTangerine said:
I'm an 18 year old from North London (just about to turn 19), supported pool since my dad took me to Watford away in 2007 when I was 5. For the past year I've been struggling with mental health. I remember the first time I properly spoke to my parents and girlfriend (at the time) about it and just bawling my eyes out because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what to do about it, but now I'm past that, it's the bravest thing I've ever done. When I'm down I think of Pool matches to raise my spirits. Like P'boro away when we won 1-0 and got in the playoffs, the homecoming, Arsenal away in the premiership and Barnsley away in the anniversary year and being a part of mega Pool away followings and obviously the big one at Wembley after playing Forest off the park in easily the most entertaining game (bar Cardiff) I've ever watched. I'm shaking writing this out because I haven't opened up like this for a while but I wanna use my experience with depression so far and turn it into a positive for others who are going through the same thing, but also to try and educate those who might not understand mental illness too well. My pops will probably read this and think I should take my own advice because I know I should try and talk more but its so much easier said than done but it really does do so much good in the long run. Hope you're okay mate. UTP
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Fair play mate.
 
BushHillTangerine said:
I'm an 18 year old from North London (just about to turn 19), supported pool since my dad took me to Watford away in 2007 when I was 5. For the past year I've been struggling with mental health. I remember the first time I properly spoke to my parents and girlfriend (at the time) about it and just bawling my eyes out because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what to do about it, but now I'm past that, it's the bravest thing I've ever done. When I'm down I think of Pool matches to raise my spirits. Like P'boro away when we won 1-0 and got in the playoffs, the homecoming, Arsenal away in the premiership and Barnsley away in the anniversary year and being a part of mega Pool away followings and obviously the big one at Wembley after playing Forest off the park in easily the most entertaining game (bar Cardiff) I've ever watched. I'm shaking writing this out because I haven't opened up like this for a while but I wanna use my experience with depression so far and turn it into a positive for others who are going through the same thing, but also to try and educate those who might not understand mental illness too well. My pops will probably read this and think I should take my own advice because I know I should try and talk more but its so much easier said than done but it really does do so much good in the long run. Hope you're okay mate. UTP
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BHT, good luck to you son.
I'm a good bit older than you and am very up and down right now.
I had a bad time of it about 3 years ago...same thing, crying, not knowing why or what was going on with me...and worse.
From a young man like you, your advice is golden. You helped me today just through sharing your coping mechanism.

Thanks.
 
BushHillTangerine said:
I'm an 18 year old from North London (just about to turn 19), supported pool since my dad took me to Watford away in 2007 when I was 5. For the past year I've been struggling with mental health. I remember the first time I properly spoke to my parents and girlfriend (at the time) about it and just bawling my eyes out because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what to do about it, but now I'm past that, it's the bravest thing I've ever done. When I'm down I think of Pool matches to raise my spirits. Like P'boro away when we won 1-0 and got in the playoffs, the homecoming, Arsenal away in the premiership and Barnsley away in the anniversary year and being a part of mega Pool away followings and obviously the big one at Wembley after playing Forest off the park in easily the most entertaining game (bar Cardiff) I've ever watched. I'm shaking writing this out because I haven't opened up like this for a while but I wanna use my experience with depression so far and turn it into a positive for others who are going through the same thing, but also to try and educate those who might not understand mental illness too well. My pops will probably read this and think I should take my own advice because I know I should try and talk more but its so much easier said than done but it really does do so much good in the long run. Hope you're okay mate. UTP
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Good lad.

I'm 41 and spend hours writing pointless blog about Pool that 100 people read cos it's better than thinking about other stuff. Never feel weird or like you can't or shouldn't talk about it cos that what this is. It's our great escape, our oasis, our island away from everything. Our release. ** great post that. I couldn't have expressed what you've expressed at your age. Your pops is right, but to me, sounds like you've got your head screwed on. People are here if you need us.
 
td53 said:
Good lad.

I'm 41 and spend hours writing pointless blog about Pool that 100 people read cos it's better than thinking about other stuff. Never feel weird or like you can't or shouldn't talk about it cos that what this is. It's our great escape, our oasis, our island away from everything. Our release. ** great post that. I couldn't have expressed what you've expressed at your age. Your pops is right, but to me, sounds like you've got your head screwed on. People are here if you need us.
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Healthy obsessions I call them 👍
I have loads and they may be obsessions but they are healthy, or at least not unhealthy, and a great distraction.
In reality they then just become part of you and who you are, but that’s much better than being defined by your mental health and the obsessions and thoughts that aren’t so healthy.
I tend to have a bit of an obsession most winters when it’s harder to get out and appreciate life and nature. This year I seem to be collecting retro kitchen ware from eBay 😉 and my bread making addiction has been another previous winter passion.
It’s all about knowing your triggers and adapting to a healthier lifestyle once you know you’re susceptible to the black dog.
 
BushHillTangerine said:
I'm an 18 year old from North London (just about to turn 19), supported pool since my dad took me to Watford away in 2007 when I was 5. For the past year I've been struggling with mental health. I remember the first time I properly spoke to my parents and girlfriend (at the time) about it and just bawling my eyes out because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what to do about it, but now I'm past that, it's the bravest thing I've ever done. When I'm down I think of Pool matches to raise my spirits. Like P'boro away when we won 1-0 and got in the playoffs, the homecoming, Arsenal away in the premiership and Barnsley away in the anniversary year and being a part of mega Pool away followings and obviously the big one at Wembley after playing Forest off the park in easily the most entertaining game (bar Cardiff) I've ever watched. I'm shaking writing this out because I haven't opened up like this for a while but I wanna use my experience with depression so far and turn it into a positive for others who are going through the same thing, but also to try and educate those who might not understand mental illness too well. My pops will probably read this and think I should take my own advice because I know I should try and talk more but its so much easier said than done but it really does do so much good in the long run. Hope you're okay mate. UTP
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This is such a good post. I just argued (still do) with Blackpool fans at your age. Blackpool is such a release from normality, yes they piss me off to no end. Last Saturday I was livid. 10er wasted. But I'll watch them again and again and again. It's because it's our Blackpool that's why.
 
BushHillTangerine said:
I'm an 18 year old from North London (just about to turn 19), supported pool since my dad took me to Watford away in 2007 when I was 5. For the past year I've been struggling with mental health. I remember the first time I properly spoke to my parents and girlfriend (at the time) about it and just bawling my eyes out because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what to do about it, but now I'm past that, it's the bravest thing I've ever done. When I'm down I think of Pool matches to raise my spirits. Like P'boro away when we won 1-0 and got in the playoffs, the homecoming, Arsenal away in the premiership and Barnsley away in the anniversary year and being a part of mega Pool away followings and obviously the big one at Wembley after playing Forest off the park in easily the most entertaining game (bar Cardiff) I've ever watched. I'm shaking writing this out because I haven't opened up like this for a while but I wanna use my experience with depression so far and turn it into a positive for others who are going through the same thing, but also to try and educate those who might not understand mental illness too well. My pops will probably read this and think I should take my own advice because I know I should try and talk more but its so much easier said than done but it really does do so much good in the long run. Hope you're okay mate. UTP
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Great post mate, well said. I'm guessing you are in Bush Hill Park ? I was born in Edmonton and went to school in Enfield so know the area well. I'm now in Kent but there are a couple of Pool fans local to you. I'll get you on a BASIL trip once we are back up and running but in the meantime, take strength from the support on here , be strong and get out there and do good things. All the best,
 
Just reading through the post now. What a brilliant response by everyone.
I’ve been there. It took a lot of balls to admit that I needed help but once I’d admitted it, the weight off my shoulders was unbelievable. I sincerely hope that news story isn’t linked to the OP.

Done yourselves proud fellow pool fans. My messages are always open to anyone struggling. Take care all x
 
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