Mental help needed

highfieldsouthshore said:
Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice
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Do you want to come back to us mate? Give us an update or somat? We're The Pool. We're all here for you if you're ready to post.
 
Hey, HighfieldSouthShore, can you give us another word or two mate. None of us have left. We're all here and we all want to know you're OK.
 
Not really much to add to what’s already been posted, but can you identify what’s making you feel so low? Not to dwell on them, but to see an opportunity to remove the negatives / tackle the obstacles / clear annoyances and replace them one-by-one with a solution or something more positive, seeking help wherever possible.
 
tangerine_neil said:
Not really much to add to what’s already been posted, but can you identify what’s making you feel so low? Not to dwell on them, but to see an opportunity to remove the negatives / tackle the obstacles / clear annoyances and replace them one-by-one with a solution or something more positive, seeking help wherever possible.
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You matter mate x
 
highfieldsouthshore said:
Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice
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Hi mate not sure who you are but I have been in you position, my number is 07565 837394 and we can go fishing, a walk or just a chat via text, nobody comes off best from suicide buddy.
 
I'll keep it simple pal, having been to two funerals due to suicide, get some help, be strong and think of your loved ones. If you did this it is like a bomb going off for your family and friends, dont want to be blunt but it is so final. Happy for you to message me if I can help.
 
Hope you seek the help you need asap Highfield, there are so many great helplines out there that can help you, like Samaritans, Lancashire mind, crisis team, maybe contact single point of access if you want counselling.
 
Highfield I trust and hope you are still tuned in and reading all the messages. You come across as a truly sound person who's just having a rotten time of it at the moment. Things will look brighter I promise if you hang in there. There's so much great advice and thoughts from so many posters here it makes me proud to be a Seasider. You're part of that family. As a few have said already, PM me if you fancy a chat, I'd be glad to talk to you 👍
 
You’re not alone - 2020 was a tough year but we can all pull through together. I second the comment about chemical imbalance in the brain, go and speak to your GP they can definitely help, and have helped me.

The other thing I have found which helps is meditation - Headspace is a great app for your phone which can be used for 10 minute daily guided meditation sessions.
 
Just think of the kids how devastated they would be and the example it sets for when times are low in there own lives. Keep on keeping on and things will get better.
 
Family and friends are never better off without someone they care about, ever.
There are some fantastic messages already, and we're all here for you. It's great you've decided to reach out to people on here, we're a community and we care. Please do make that next step and send any of us a DM to talk it through properly, even if it's just to offload - sometimes just that can make a big difference. We might not be experts but we're here to listen. The most important thing is to talk, and to keep in mind that there are no problems that can't be ovecome.
I've been there too. Feel free to DM me any time to talk.
 
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Highfield,
Please, please, please listen to your fellow Blackpool fans. Your existence is vital to so many people. The world will not be a better place without you. You had the strength to post on here asking for advice, please take it. I’m routing for you mate, and I’m a Nobber! You can get through this!
 
highfieldsouthshore said:
Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice
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Hope you read this after last night. We're all on here together for you dude.
 
I personally have no experience of this but coincidentally in today`s(Saturday`s)Times newspaper magazine there is a big article saying at present there are millions in this country suffering from depression.It is written by someone who suffered from depression who says, this is how to get over it and he says trust me I know what I am talking about.If you can get hold of a copy it may well help. Either way you have made the first important move, do follow it up as others on here have said and talk perhaps to your GP or the Samaritans.

Good luck, we are all pulling for you, you can put this all behind you with the help that`s out there waiting for you to talk to them.
 
Just looking at the responses on this football message board to you from complete strangers SCREAMS out NOBODY WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU, least all your family. Half past 3 in the morning and people still here for you if you want to talk.
I hope you will look at all the posts and see your not alone and there are a lot of people that care and are concerned for you. Hope the next time you look at the partner and children you will see how much they care and love you. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get help or just dial Samaritans and talk to someone. A lot of people here in your corner with you.
 
I’ve never told anyone outside my immediate family, but I made a serious attempt on my life 7 years ago. I spent two days in hospital recovering and I’m so glad I didn’t succeed. I’m here and I want to live, I’ve come to terms with life and it’s troubles, and since then I’ve got three new grandchildren.

Best of all, I’ve got a season ticket. As others have said, talk to someone, I wish I had.
 
I feel the same way 3 years ago I sat for 2 hours with a loaded gun on my lap. What saved me was reading my daughters cards and school work I realized the harm I could have done her mentally for the rest of her life. My grandmother committed suicide and it affected our lives forever. I bounced back with support. Please there is help out there be strong you have a lot of support here we are your footy family and we love you.

I am not ashamed of telling you this I just want you to know many people have been through this, If my words help as I have not told anybody about this you have helped me. TY
 
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After waking up this morning and reading the many posts on here it tells me a few things. Firstly how uplifting it is to see so many people (all of them complete strangers to you) really wanting you to do the right thing Highfield, and seek that professional help you need and/or speak to any of us personally by D/M and let us hold your hand and talk you through the situation you find yourself in. People care and people want to help you get through this, give them that chance to make a difference to your life pal, I know friends who have ended their lives and the devastation it leaves on their loved ones is beyond belief, my nephew is still haunted by his Dad doing this and he did it 30 years ago. One of my best pals also ended his life a couple of years ago and the pain it caused his wife and kids cannot be overstated, it crushed them and they carry that pain every single day since it happened, do you really want to cause that heartbreak to your loved ones or can you take those vital first steps and seek the help you need? You are not alone in feeling this way pal, many thousands of people are in the same shoes as you so do the right thing and take the first steps by speaking to people who want to help you and in turn that will save the people that love you from going through what I'm 100% sure you don't want your family to go through, the pain and heartache of wondering why the man they love wanted to walk out of their lives forever.

Pick up that phone, and pick it up now.
 
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Lala said:
Your family are never better off without you and it’s the depression itself that is telling you that, it’s not the reality.

Mental Health - Crisis team Out of Hours - Blackpool | FYi Directory

service_description
www.fyidirectory.co.uk www.fyidirectory.co.uk

If you feel you are in crisis at the moment and a risk to your own health give the crisis team above a ring and see what they recommend.
Failing that contact your GP as soon as you can to discuss your current mood and self- refer yourself to supporting minds , you can do this online.
Many people find themselves where you are right now and though things seem insurmountable they really aren’t.
Life is so precious and no mood lasts forever.
Talk , talk and talk. It’s so important to acknowledge how you are feeling and share your thoughts with others.
Reach out for professional support and support from friends and family who would hate to think of you feeling so low.
Virtual hug for you right now xx
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Well spoken Lala
 
Hi, I just wanted to offer my support and hope that by taking this really important first step it has enabled you to see that there are people that care, and routes to get help. As you can probably tell from my username I’m a North End fan and we have a mental health section on our forum for people like yourself to reach out for help. One of our members alerted us to your post and I wanted to stop by and chat. Mental health goes beyond football rivalries so I hope that you find the help you need. You might find that if you talk to family they are more understanding than you think. Fingers crossed for you, try and get some help please. The world is a better place with you in it.
 
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The above really shows what a fan base and special family we have.

This year has been tough for us all... but highfield we are on the final stretch now... not much longer before we can all meet for beers and chat about these things (not like we do but you know what I mean).

But from my experience taking your life causes unrepairable damage, my wife's uncle took his life at 35 and her dad did at 40 (2 wks before her 21st).. 19yrs on there is still family blame and bitterness that will never go away... really sad especially for my daughter who never got to meet her grandad. So your family.. future grand kids etc need ya.. trust me mate. lots of people to talk to on this thread.. take up their kind offers.

Utp and we will be back in the ground before you know it
 
Not much to add on this other than to totally support what has already been said. Don’t be too scared or proud to ask for help. It feels like the hardest part, yet just by talking about you feel, a huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders. And I can guarantee that whether it’s a stranger or your closest friend or loved one. People will always listen.

Like many others, I’ve suffered in dark times and understand those horrible feelings, thinking you can never come out the other side. But you absolutely can and you will. And you’ll be a stronger person for it.

All the best to you.
 
Feelings are temporary. No matter how low you may feel at any one time, there will be days ahead when you laugh so hard at something. Don't do anything that is permanent.

There's lots of help and you've done the right thing opening up. Talk to your partner. You will be amazed how much support you get from those close to you. Call the helplines. They will guide you further. Wish you all the best.
 
Highfieldsouthshore- Really sorry to hear how you are feeling but please do not give up. People care deeply as the wonderful avfft family have shown. Your life matters to so many including your family and friends and they will all need you as you need them in the coming years. Please take the advice you have been given. If you feel you cannot speak to family and friends then then pick up the phone and contact your nearest nhs crisis intervention team , the samaritans is another wonderful idea. Do not give up because YOU MATTER.
 
Wow, this thread had really moved me. The offers of help and advice from not just pool fans but PNE too is a really special humanitarian response. I can’t add to what people have said as you have all to a man and woman eloquently, sensitively and kindly responded. This thread is what we are all about as humans and I am proud to be part of this group.
 
highfieldsouthshore said:
Just asking for help I’m happy from thenoutsde but tormented from the mind I’m a fellow Seasiders. 3 kids partner . But feeling proper low . I darent talk to family or partner but I don’t want to worry them .from the oustide i probably quiet . I’ve sat on the sea front jumping in just to feel peace but then I feel selfish for the girls inlesve behind . Does anyone feel the same and is there anyone in the pool community feel the same or would somehow reach out I’ve flowed pool for years . I just think my family would be better without me . Any advice
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Please call someone - the Samaritans is a good start
 
Has anyone heard from highfieldSS? Does anyone know him.
some very, very good advice on here last night and I really hope this guy called someone.
I lost a family member to suicide and believe me, I miss my uncle every day! however low you feel, your family and kids will and do love you.
please just post something to say you’re okay and that you’re talking to someone.
I’m no expert by the way, but my uncle bottled everything up and didn’t talk to anyone. At least you’ve reached out to the BFC community and I hope you get the advice and help you need.
good luck
 
Highfield SouthShore. Just read this, sorry for the late reply.
Firstly, you've been so brave opening up, maybe for the first time.
Thousands of people will be able to empathise with you and you've made the first step in seeking support
Nobody is better off without you, no matter how low and worthless you feel.
Brilliant advice from our family on here; we certainly need you.
Please google "Mental Health Charities and Organisations-NHS"
or "Suicide Support Line" to find the right avenue of support for you.
I was eventually diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder after being too scared to ask for help for decades, because of embarrassment, guilt, low self-esteem and shame, but professional help was provided and is always available.
Apologies to you and all on here for assuming from your narrative that you're a bloke, but I have worked with an organisation called Andy's Man Club ( they've a website- check it out), founded by Like Ambler, after his brother-in-law, a Rugby League player from Halifax, took his life when the pressure became too great. There's so much stigma around suicide and self-harm and we men are (generally) not as strong as women in talking about feelings and emotional pain.
It's OK to talk, Highfield.
Please let us know how you're doing
 
I've been to some very bad places with very dark thoughts.
My lowest point was when I was ready to go.
Sobbing, I called the samaritan's, I had nowhere to go mentally or physically. There was no fight, no spirit, nothing. I was sat in my car on a dark car park, it was cold, raining... horrible.
The samaritan's helped me get through that moment. I was desperate.
And that's what it was, a moment.
If I'm absolutely honest, there have been many but that was the lowest point.
I managed to speak to my doctor the next day and was prescribed prozac(by a different name).
My gp gave me a verbal consultation and it was clear that my mental state was poor.
I was referred to Minds matter and given 8 one hour councilling sessions.
3 years later now. Good days and bad. Today bad. But the new bad is 99% better than the old bad. There are good days and not so good days now.
I've come to realize, as this thread proves, I'm not alone. You are not alone. The Avftt family are here for you. Your family are here for you.
Please speak to someone. It helps mate, really.

Tomorrow is a new day. Back to a job I detest but I make it what I want it to be now.
I've decluttered. I'm still doing it. If something is bothering me now, I either change it or get rid.
Last night I told my wife of 30 years that it's over.
This morning, as difficult as it is, I've told her again.
Reading this thread has helped me.

Thankyou all of you.
For the strength you give.
For the advice you give.
For the love you give.
 
I think most of us have been through some kind of adversity in our lives. I've had a colourful 58 years on this planet so far with highs and lows, successes and failures. When i look back its always been my family that has got me through the hard times and an inner strength. Look no further than your loved ones to pull you through. They are your strength.
 
HSS, I think we’d all just like to know you’re alright today.

I think it’s probably hard for you now after so many messages to come back on this thread and talk. I know you’ll probably feel overawed by it all.

We’re all worried for you all I’d say is just give some one a private message maybe to avoid the glare of the thread.
We’re all worried about you and want to help you through this.

Also you should be awarded the Nobel peace prize. The only person I’ve ever seen unite this board. 😀
 
Bloodtangerine said:
I ain’t no Wise Man by any stretch But ....I read it by some other man/woman.....and it is wisdom that’s for sure ..it helped me
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You gain wisdom from going through shit innit. That's what it is. No one invents wisdom, you just realise it one day. You probably heard something a hundred times before but them at some point it makes sense cos of where and what and all that. Something you never noticed before becomes suddenly relevant.

Or something or other. I dunno. 'The wise man is he who shares the truth at the right time'. I just made that up.

Don't know you at all apart from on here, but you always strike me as a very thoughtful fella Blood and also, the wise man is the one who doesn't think he's wise cos acknowledging how little we know is the first step to learning. Again, I made that up but I think it's true and I probably read it somewhere too.

HSS - please let us know you're ok mate. If only to stop me posting shite like the above. Like Rekt said, just a message to someone or just bob online for a bit and post about something else or whatever.
 
HSS - to add to my earlier post, as it seems no-one has mentioned it, try to keep off the booze for now, mate.
When I hit my bad patch I hit the bottle. It seems to help at first, but you end up worrying about that too. It can spiral into a vicious circle of drinking more to drown out the added feelings of guilt and it becomes a nightmare.
Please don’t be offended if alcohol isn’t an issue for you, I mean it for the best.
Good luck, you can get past this phase.

👍
 
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Johnno said:
HSS - to add to my earlier post, as it seems no-one has mentioned it, try to keep off the booze for now, mate.
When I hit my bad patch I hit the bottle. It seems to help at first, but you end up worrying about that too. It can spiral into a vicious circle of drinking more to drown out the added feelings of guilt and it becomes a nightmare.
Please don’t be offended if alcohol isn’t an issue for you, I mean it for the best.
Good luck, you can get passed this phase.

👍
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I was going to say exactly the same Johnno 👍 It’s a crutch at first that can soon become a curse. Good advice.
 
Some really sound advice

Speak to somebody friends,Samarirans or anyone off here

Call mental health and wellbeing helpline
If you dont think you can keep yourself safe call crisis team on 01253956280 or go to A and E - you will not be judged

Dont try and sort out everything at once - it will make you feel overwhelmed and hopeless
Watch the booze ..
If you take anything from this it should be that your life is worth it,people will miss you and that despite your current thoughts this will pass
Highfield this is an illness and it's called depression - there is treatment and support out there - you will get better
 
HSS, as others have said, please let someone know you're OK?
 
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