have a great time with him, They are really your best friend.
An amusing analogy. You take your dog out for walks but never say hello to strangers who don't have a dog. If they've got a dog, you'll always say hello and soon start to stop and say hello to each other whilst the dogs get to know each other.
It’s a form of discrimination. I am often walking down the street and I see dog walkers approach each other and stop to have a conversation.
But when I’m approaching a dog walker, they don’t give me the time of day because I’m dogless.
If I tried to engage them in conversation, especially a female dog walker, they would think I was a weirdo or a predator.
But if I had a dog on a lead, then the other dog walker would be at ease, and happy to converse with me. They’d be at ease because they would see me as one of them. In their club. Someone with similar traits. Someone who’s a mirror image or has similarities. The absence of which, is the basic underlying factor that drives all discrimination.
It’s the unconscious bias. When I used to do job interviewing, and when I went to job interviews, I was all too aware of it. We were trained to be aware, and to not to let the absence of similarities sway our judgement.
But it’s human nature.
We see someone who’s the same age, ethnicity, gender, has the same hobbies, is a parent, maybe has kids of the same age - and we start to relax and feel comfortable. It’s a natural unconscious response.
I remember going for a job, and one of the interviewers had a tie with a golf theme. At the end of the interview I had a chance to ask a few questions so I asked them if they played and what their handicap was. I asked if they’d played a course near where I lived. I gave the impression I was interested in golf. And I managed to flatter them about their handicap. Needless to say, I got the job. Maybe that extra connection I established helped. I don’t know, but I suspect it did. We like people that like the same things.
It’s apparent when I’m in my taxi. The customer often engages in conversation. Between us we steer the discussion onto common territory. I might be asked ‘do you have children?’, or ‘do you follow a team?’ Or ‘are you going away this year?’
Once an area of mutual interest or commonality is established the customer relaxes more and feels more at ease.
I’m not criticising dog walkers, cos it’s human nature. They’re at ease with each other. It’s a bit like when you’re hiking in the Lakes. You’ll often come across other walkers, and they’ll acknowledge you and say hello. Maybe even stop for a quick chat. That’s because by virtue of how they’re dressed, and the fact that they’re in the same location, it means you already know you’ve something in common. You both love the the Lakes and you’re both out hiking. So you’re instantly friendly to each other, and your guard is down. You’ve got the similarity, you’re in the same club.
But - take the same people, in different clothes, in a different setting e.g., a high street, and you’ve lost that similarity. There’s too many unknowns. You’re just a randomer. If you stopped the person, and said hello, they’d likely look at you like you’re a freak, and walk hurriedly away. Same people. Different setting. No obvious commonality. Therefore they’re not at ease, and see you as an oddball at best, and perhaps a threat.
Anyways, I thought I’d share this with you dog walkers. Maybe now you’ll look on the dogless with care and compassion, rather than as freaks and threats.
The dogless have feelings too. There you are having your dog walker to dog walker tete a tete, whilst us dogless are left out in the cold. Shut out. Shunned. Snubbed. Not deemed worthy of acknowledging, never mind a conversation.
If only one or two of you would speak to me. I have loads of useful information about what you can do with your dog excrement. You don’t know what you’re missing. And there’s you thinking I’m a weirdo cos I’m dogless. How wrong can you be?